Today is my birthday.

This is me 47 years ago, when I was a baby:

See that? Even then, personality PLUS.

Based on this photographic evidence,
here’s what I’m predicting I’ll look like in my golden years:

Which isn’t bad, considering he’s about 119 years old in this photo.

And that, my friends, brings me to my Just the Tip Tuesday tip of the week.

Always lie about your age.

I’m actually 41 today.
But I always tell people that I’m older,
so they will be dazzled by how well-preserved I am “for my age.”

I’ve been doing this for over a decade and it works like a charm.

Case in point: Betty White.
She’s not really 82.
That bitch lies like a rug.
She’s really in her fifties.
But she wouldn’t be nearly as hot as she is right now
if she told the truth about her age.

Try it.

It’s a lot cheaper and less painful than plastic surgery.


with love and white lies,

-Iris

© Copyright 2001, The Bearded Iris.