The Bearded Iris

A Recalcitrant Wife and Mother Tells All

Tag: kids (page 2 of 3)

What is it about the restroom at Staples?

 

Happy Monday, everyone!

Read Me In the Powder Room!Big news: I’m moving my weekly column at InThePowderRoom.com to Mondays so I can get back to my roots and revive my favorite old feature: Just the Tip Tuesday. (Check back tomorrow for a kitchen/hygiene tip you won’t want to miss.)

In fact, I’ve been hard at work all weekend getting my old Just the Tip Tuesday articles all organized and purdy so you can more easily find your favorite tips or discover new ones you may have missed. Please check it out!

I also have a brand new page about advertising opportunities available at The Bearded Iris! I’ve been getting lots of great feedback about it…

 

@ @ I love it! Even your ad page is hysterical!!
@Throat_Punch
Punch in the Throat

…so go give it a look-see and if you think my blog would be a good fit for marketing your business, go ahead and nab yourself some sidebar like Confessions of a Semi-Domesticated Mama and Your Doctor’s Wife did!

And now, for something totally different…

I’m In The Powder Room today discussing something poop-related. Surprised? I know. It’s so unlike me.

Yes, my youngest child seems to have developed a sick fascination with public restrooms, particularly those in mega office supply super stores like Staples. Good times.

Please tell me I’m not the only one.

See you over there, m’kay?

-Leslie

Quiz: Should I go camping?

Ahhh summer. What to do, what…to…do.

Should I go camping? (A quiz.)

Is camping on your list?

Really?

Should you go camping? With kids? With other people’s kids? Take my handy quiz In The Powder Room to find out the answer. You might just be surprised, and/or so will your team of psychiatric professionals when they discover you are missing.

See you over there!
-Leslie

Family Game Night stinks.

Family Game Night: love it or hate it? I’m sharing some of our family favorites over In The Powder Room today. Come join in the discussion.

And you’ll never believe the new game that Bucket Head keeps trying to get us to play with him.

photo of bucket head with a naughty grin

I know. His hair is awesome, but he's up to no good. Believe me.

 

Read Me In the Powder Room!Or maybe you will. That kid is a nut.

Okay, c’mon. Quit stalling and let’s play! It’s my turn to pick the game. And I hope you brought that 7-layer-dip I like so much.

Leslie (aka “Iris”)

Hot Turd Time Machine

Oh Monday, you ignorant slut.

It’s been raining here in North Georgia for about 24 hours straight and normally that makes me just want to climb back into bed.

photo of raindrops on my jasmine vine

But I have a little bounce in my step today because Jessica from the beautiful blog Four Plus an Angel invited ME to guest post!

I don’t get a lot of invitations for things like that ever since I wrote about Lady and The Tramp doin’ it doggie style at my friend Megan’s old blog Declutter Daily. *sigh* (Sorry about that, Megan.)

Jessica, like Megan, is a very brave woman though. She reached out to me to participate in her summer series about funny summertime memories. I bothered her all weekend with questions like “Is it okay if I swear?” and “How about poop? Can I write about poop?” and “Can we hang out sometime and paint each other’s toes and have a pillow fight like in the movies because you’re really pretty.” She never responded to that last one. Huh.

So…spoiler alert. There is poop. And maybe a swear word or two, I don’t even know anymore. And I guess I owe my Mom and apology too for being such a stinker all the time. Sorry Mom.

Just a reminder, my comments here are closed for the summer, but you can chat me up today at Four Plus an Angel, the Twitter, and Facebook.

yours truly,
Leslie (aka “Iris”)

The Truth about Motherhood

read me in the powder room
I’m over In The Powder Room today telling my truth about Motherhood.

It’s a little bit of everything…kind of like those three freeloaders who came out of my vagina.

See you over there, m’kay? I’ll bring the hand sanitizer, you bring the air freshener.

-Leslie (aka Iris)

Helicopter Mom – The Movie

My kids have been on Spring Break this week. We didn’t go anywhere exciting, unless you count the barber shop, so we’ve been keeping ourselves entertained the old fashioned way: doing super gross things on video for your entertainment. I’m a giver, what can I say.

The following short film was inspired by recent current events. It was written entirely by my children with minimal input by me. I did have to put the kibosh on one scene they wanted to do that involved toenail trimming and my mouth, but other than that, I was incredibly impressed with their comedic timing and ability to craft a compelling story in 4 minutes or less.

Eat your heart out, Alicia Silverstone:

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