The Bearded Iris

A Recalcitrant Wife and Mother Tells All

Tag: goals

Don’t look back? Don’t tell me what to do.

It’s a widely known fact (i.e. “pin-worthy” quote) that one of the main reasons people give up on their dreams is because they focus on how far they still have to go instead of how far they’ve already come.

Or for you visual learners…

Look behind you, you're more awesome than you realize! from "Don't look back? Don't tell me what to do," by The Bearded Iris

You do it too, right? Continue reading

Blowin’ the Stink Off

I’ve had a bad case of the winter blues the past few days. Not only has it been cold and rainy and gray here in North Georgia, but something about taking down the Christmas decorations and opening up those post-holiday credit card bills just sucks the will to live right outta me. 

Not only that, but my dear friend Patty just lost her mother to a 22-month battle with pancreatic cancer. Yesterday was the visitation and service and it was just heartbreaking. The service was beautiful though – a true celebration of a wonderful life well-lived. 

I haven’t been to many funerals in my life, kinehora (ya’ll, that is Yiddish for “knock on wood”), but going to one always scrambles my eggs for a few days, and not in a good way. Especially if it is an open casket. Lawd. That always shakes me to the core. Those standardized tests in high school that told me I would be a good mortician were just flat out wrong. 

Coming to grips with our mortality is just hard. Plain and simple. But a good funeral can be just the ticket to get you off your ass and get you on the road to a better life. 

My friend Patty handled her Mom’s passing with such dignity, grace, and love. It was truly an honor to witness. The four grandchildren all made special treasures to place in the casket with her – painted rocks and a signed baseball. Patty even did her Mom’s makeup and hair that morning, herself, because she knew exactly how her Mama would want to look. She was laid to rest in a gorgeous white nightie that she had chosen herself when she knew her time was near. I was just blown away by the love and loss of this great lady. 

It was a very emotionally draining day. But it made me want to come home and live the fullest life I can carve out for myself… to be a better wife, mom, daughter, sister, friend, neighbor, and parishioner. Made me feel grateful for the healthy life I’ve lived so far and made me want to take steps to ensure that I can stay healthy in the years to come. And it made me want to stop watching Bret Michael’s Rock of Love Bus on Sunday nights on VH1. Seeing 20 slutty silicone-augmented women fight over an aging has-been rock star is just not contributing one iota to my goals for leading a fuller life… even if the episode where that skank stuck a shot glass in her vajayjay and then was (surprisingly) not invited to continue on the tour was mildly entertaining in a “I-just-saw-a-train-wreck-and-can’t-avert-my-eyes-from-the-carnage-lying-next-to-the-tracks” kind of way. Ewwww. 

So, yeah. I need to make some changes ’round here if I’m going to break out of this winter funk and live a fuller life.

And that brings me to my tip for the day. It is Tuesday after all and you know I love to share simple advice for better living in my semi-regular “Just the Tip Tuesday” columns. 

My advice today is to go outside and “blow the stink off.” That is what one of my favorite Aunties likes to call the simple act of taking a walk. If you just go outside and take a walk, it is amazing how much better you will feel. It clears your head, gets your heart pumping, releases those feel-good endorphins that help you to keep on keeping-on. It’s all good. 

I just got back from blowing the stink off with Bucket Head and I tell you what, I feel like a million pesos… which is much better than I felt an hour ago. It’s a journey… we’ll work up to a million dollars. One stink at a time.

Peace and Quiet of Olympic Proportions

I love my husband.  I do.  He is a keeper.  And I am so lucky to have him in my life.  That being said, we’ve been married for eleven years and the man is driving me absolutely nuts.  Luckily for me, he doesn’t have a blog or any interest in airing our dirty laundry, or else he could be writing post after post about my myriad quirks and annoying habits.  But unfortunately for him, I do have a blog, I have no shame, and writing about this stuff keeps me from earning a 28 day stay at Promises with Britney.  Sorry, hon.  

So here’s my gripe du jour.  It occurred to me last night that The Olympics will be coming to an end soon, and this makes me blue.  My reasons are two fold.  

1.) Yes, for all the same reasons as the rest of you Americans, and sports fans, and humanitarians in general. Of course. It is truly captivating to watch people who are the best at what they do.  Particularly, I love to hear my husband and children discussing the awe inspiring feats of Michael Phelps every day. My husband, who did not shed a single tear when any of his children were born, gets all choked up retelling the story of how Michael Phelps set a goal of 8 gold medals, achieved this goal, and now has more gold medals (between his two Olympics) than any other person, ever.  Hey butt-munch, I birthed all three of your children, two of whom were over 9 pounds each, and twice without drugs, but yeah, go ahead and cry over Michael Phelps’ accomplishment.  That IS something!  Perhaps I am just a tad bitter, no? Maybe I am also envious of Michael Phelps…not only did he accomplish what he set out to do, but his goal was huge! He set multiple World Records.  My loftiest goals right now are to clear off the dining room table sometime this week and make sure the kids have clean underwear everyday. Pathetic.

2.) But really, the thing I will miss the most about the Olympics is the peace and quiet around here at night. These last two weeks have been heaven.  Since my husband knows that I’m not much of a sports fan and don’t really care about watching the Olympics, he has been voluntarily retiring to the basement (a.k.a. “The Man-Cave”) every night after the kids go to bed to watch the Olympics by himself, leaving me blissfully alone in the family room.  It has been delightful.  No fighting for the remote.  No “discussions” about what to watch.  No eye strain from his manic channel surfing.  No frustration from not being able to hear the TV over his excessively loud grape chomping and popsicle slurping.  Just me and the dog, cuddled up on the couch, with complete control over everything in my world for the first time all day. I could definitely get used to this. 

So I will miss you Beijing, but there is light at the end of the tunnel….football season is just around the corner.  And until then…oops!…I forgot to buy popsicles at the store again.


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