The Bearded Iris

A Recalcitrant Wife and Mother Tells All

Tag: ermahgerd meme

ERMAHGERD: The Preparing for BlogHer’12 Edition

In 6 days I will be descending upon New York City for the BlogHer ’12 conference.

I will be meeting a lot of bloggers that I’ve gotten to know and love over the past four years and I’m really excited about it.

I mean REALLY excited.

But I’m a little worried that some of the online friends I’ll be meeting won’t recognize me in person. So I just wanted to give you a sneak peak of what I’ll probably look like when you see me at the Hilton…

Just in case you don’t speak “ERMAHGERD,” that’s me saying “Oh my God…the BlogHer Guidebook.” (And if you don’t speak ERMAHGERD, dude…get with the program. It’s like only the most awesome Internet meme in the history of Internet memes, IMHO.)

So about that BlogHer conference guide, it’s pretty freaking awesome. Do you have yours yet? You can get it here if you don’t. I also highly recommend the BlogHer ’12 mobile app. Both of these items are really helping to alleviate some of my stress about the logistics of this enormous conference.

Also, I just want to put it out there that I’m really hoping to meet Jenny Lawson, aka The Bloggess. I’ve heard she has some social anxiety issues though, so I’m mentally preparing myself that she might not be very easy to approach, particularly by a blogger who looks like this:



But maybe if any of you know her and could introduce me, that would be super swell.

I too have some pretty severe social anxiety challenges which is why I used to be such a booze whore. At least when I was drunk, I could blame the hooch when I said really inappropriate things. Now that I’m on the wagon, I have no excuses.

So Jenny, I apologize in advance if we meet and I ask you if my camel toe looks fat or I tell you that you smell really good, like a unicorn in the sun who just ate a rainbow cupcake.

You know, on second thought, I’ll just wave at Jenny from across the room. It’s fine. Really.

If you are going to BlogHer next week, and you’re not too afraid of me dry humping your leg or smelling your ponytail, please do say hello! We can speak ERMAHGERD together and put bags on our heads and dance the night away.

ERMAHGERD, did I just say that out loud?

Maybe I’ll just stay home and read about #BlogHer12 on The Twitter instead.


Special thanks to my daughter Mini-Me for creating my braces out of aluminum foil and a blue Sharpie! That girl has skills. And also, mad props to my husband for being able to take these pics without making them too blurry because he was laughing so hard he was shaking. (Bless his heart…it can’t be easy being married to a hot mess like me.)

And one more thing, my friend Robyn from Hollow Tree Ventures is awesome, and not just because she speaks ERMAHGERD with me (frequently). She cracks me up and her happy avatar makes me smile every time I see it. Go get some of that, wouldja?

The one in which I enter into The Mommy Wars (Dun dun DUN!)


Oh snap! We’re doing a whole week about The Mommy Wars over In The Powder Room!

ERMAHGERD, Mermmy Wers!



This is an issue near and dear to my heart for the following reasons:

1.) I am a mom.

2.) I was a WOHM for 2.5 years, a SAHM for 10 years, and am now a part-time WAHM. (For my elderly and ESL readers those mean Work Out of the Home Mom, Stay at Home Mom, and Work at Home Mom.)

3.)  Who are we kidding? These all suck to some degree, if we’re honest. So we tear each other’s choices down to justify our own tortured minds…because being responsible for the lives of these tiny humans is the most terrifying and stress inducing thing most of us will ever do. And we are women, so we fight dirty.

i rock in the powder room

4.) But I’ve got a plan to end these Mommy Wars right now. Join me In The Powder Room today for the details.

See you over there, m’kay?

And bring your sense of humor, por favor.

Fondly and with no judgement,


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