The Bearded Iris

A Recalcitrant Wife and Mother Tells All

Tag: contest

Words With Friends, The Best Misogynistic Game Around!

Sorry folks, but we need a couple more days to tally the votes for the Craft Whores contest. This is our first link-up partay, and the judging has turned out to be a little more challenging than we thought it would be!

As a consolation prize while you wait, let’s talk about Words With Friends.

It’s the Scrabble knock-off that’s one of the hottest games on the Internet these days.

Are you playing?

I play every day. It’s how I keep my brain so sharp. (Where are my fucking keys?! Dammit!)

And one thing I’ve noticed is that this game is totally misogynistic.

How else do you explain that vagina-related words like queef, cunt, and clit are unacceptable words but dong, balls, fart, and wang are fine?

Clearly, the creators of WWF prefer sausage to eggs. I’m just saying.

Look, I’m not making this up. Here’s a screen shot from one of my recent games:

The hell? My opponent, thoova, played the word FART, and then when I tried to play the female equivalent, I was DENIED. Total double standard.

So annoying. Good Q words are hard to come by.

At least TWAT is an acceptable word. Score one for the pink team.

Anyhooo. These are things my WWF comrades and I complain about on the Twitter in between moves.

And that’s where you can usually find me during coffee breaks in the morning and commercial breaks at night. My username is “The Bearded Iris” if you’re looking for a WWF partner with the sense of humor of a 12-year-old boy.

More soon on the Craft Whores contest. Damn, if y’all hadn’t linked up such awesome crafts, this would have been so much easier to judge. I blame you and your vagtastic crafts, really.

With QI, JO, and ZA,
-Leslie

 

Last Chance to Share Your Crafty Whorishness

Tonight, at 11:59 PM EDT, we will officially close the Craft Whores contest.

“Contest? What contest?” you say?

OMG. Seriously? Don’t make me kick you in the baby maker, bitch.

This is only the single most incredible contest, like, EVER.

Fine. Here’s the CliffsNotes version for you Johnny-Come-Latelies or people with really poor reading comprehension:

It all started the day I showed The Suniverse my boobies and then she said “Bitch Please, Suck It.”

We wanted to find a way to share our mutual love of naughty crafts with our equally twisted good-humored readers, and thus, Craft Whores was born! You create a craft that is inappropriate, then you write a blog post about it and link it up for a chance to win our undying love and fabulous prizes!

I mean really. Cue the Louis Armstrong because is this a Wonderful World, or what?!

We now interrupt this broadcast with an urgent tomato boner:

Hello, gorgeous! I just needed a photo to break up all this boring text. Found that tomato in my CSA last summer and it was too fabulous to not share. As you were.

Where was I? Oh yes, prizes!  So good, they’re worth repeating:

  • A $100 Gift Certificate to We Shop at In The Powder Room
  • A $50 gift basket of craft supplies from Funny not Slutty
  • A $50 Gift Card from EdenFantasys to use on their site
  • A Viva La Deez Nutz painting and 3 Breathe Motherfucker magnets by Robin Plemmons
  • NEW!!! A $25 gift certificate from Subversive Cross Stitch
  • A sculpted vulva candleholder or nut bowl from Lady Estrogen
  • A vulva tissue box cover from Carrie at Uknit2
  • A “Hillblingy” Goblet from moi!
  • Our original Craft Whores cross stitch by my Internet wife, The Suniverse.

You can see photos of the prizes here.

Did you know we have celebrity judges? We do. They rock. Read about them here.

But most importantly, it’s not too late to get in on the fun! And based on the wide array on entries we have so far, the terms “craft” and “inappropriate” are clearly open for creative interpretation. Basically, you can’t go wrong, but if you could, the more wrong the better. 

The criteria on which your craft will be judged are as follows:

  • Best in Ho (overall best)
  • Most Anatomically Correct
  • Most Original
  • Best Effort by an Apparently Non-Crafty Person
  • Honorable Mentions 

So quit yer lollygagging and link-up! Or at least go and snicker about all the other twisted  crafts that 22 other brave souls have already posted.

Here’s where you go to link-up your inappropriate craft blog post and see the entries.

Special thanks once again to our wonderful corporate sponsors whose support, validation, and generous donations have made this venture even more fun for us all!

Craft Whores is proudly sponsored by: 

We Shop

FunnynotSlutty

PS – Several of you have asked us for a fun Craft Whores badge you can put on your own blog. Great idea! We will have one badge for participants and another for winners. Coming soon!

Winners will be announced next Thursday, September 27th.

With peace, love, and porcelain poonannies,
-Leslie

It’s finally here! Time to link up your Craft Whores entry!

ERMAHGERD! The day has come. It is time to start linking up your crafty whorishness!

If you are new here and have no idea what the what I’m talking about, I’ll fill you in with a Haiku (because I’m crafty with words AND glitter):

Craft Whores, a contest
for crafty, funny bloggers.
Link up and win shit!

Need more info? You can get caught up on the whole contest in three clicks:

1.) Introduction to Craft Whores
2.) Meet our awesome celebrity judges
3.) Aw HAYLE yeah, we have sponsors and prizes!

And because I’m still pinching myself that we somehow convinced these amazing women to play with us and judge your crafts (and you, really, if we’re being honest), I feel compelled to name-drop them one more time:

Jen: The Next Martha

Kathy: Crafty Chica

Robin: Balls to the Wall Y’all!

 

 

 

 

 

Speaking of being judged, I bet you’re wondering what our judges will be looking for in your crafts! Well let’s go there, shall we?

Basically, they are going to be looking for creativity, originality, general awesomeness, humor, effort, and in some cases, your familiarity with the human body. Our top three prizes will be as follows:

Best in Ho (the overall best contest entry)

Most Original (as in, wow – that is really unique!)

Most Anatomically Correct 

There will also be honorable mentions for things like effort and shock value.

And The Suniverse and I will each get to pick one or two entries that just tickle us in some way. Hey, it’s our contest. We make the rules.

Remember, this has to be something YOU made. Don’t just steal someone else’s photo from the Internet and claim it as your own. Don’t be that person. Nobody likes that person.

Due to popular demand, we’re going to leave the link up open for one week. It will officially close at 11:59 PM Thursday, September 20, 2012. That’s when the judging will begin. We’ll announce the winners on Thursday, September 27, 2012.

And let’s not forget these awesome folks for donating such fantastic prizes and for making us feel so special:

We Shop

FunnynotSlutty


Adventures in Estrogen

Alrighty then. On your marks, get set . . .



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