The Bearded Iris

A Recalcitrant Wife and Mother Tells All

Tag: advice

A Letter from My Future Self

read me in the powder roomEver wonder what your life will look like twenty years from now? Forty years from now?

What if your future self could send you a letter to prepare you for the future and possibly snap you out of making grievous mistakes before it’s too late?

Well that’s what I’m exploring in my weekly column In The Powder Room today. Join me, won’t you? I’ll bring the denture cream and Poise Pads.


Ambush Wisdom

Sometimes surprises are good. Like finding a dollar on the street or running into a long lost friend.

Sometimes surprises are bad. Like having a dead battery when you’re running late for carpool, or opening a package of raw chicken only to discover that it’s gone bad.

One thing I know for sure, it’s how you react to life’s surprises that can make or break your day, or week, or life.

When in doubt, choose laughter.

And take your calcium chews.

Because it’s really hard to laugh about being knocked down and dry-humped from behind when your hip is broken.

mirthfully yours,


© Copyright 2011, The Bearded Iris.

Doggone Good Advice

In exactly 24 hours I’ll be reunited with my faithful friend Ike upon the completion of his 10 day quarantine. If I have a film crew with me (i.e., a child holding my iPhone), we will edit the reunion sequence to include a slow motion run toward each other followed by an obscene amount of licking and crotch sniffing (hopefully done by the dog and not by me), all to the tune of Reunited and it feels so good… by Peaches and Herb. It’s a wonder I’m not a famous director, really it is.

So for Just the Tip Tuesday, in honor of my canine companion and his extreme sacrifice to protect his family, I’d like to share something about dogs today. This is one of those things that gets forwarded over and over through email, so you may have seen it before. I printed it out years ago after one of the many dog lovers in my life forwarded it to me. I loved it then, I love it even more today. Even if you are not a dog lover, pay attention… this is full of life tips we can all enjoy. Sadly, I do not know who the original author is; if you do, please let me know so I can give proper credit.

Things We Can Learn from a Dog

1. Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joy ride.

2. Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.

3. When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.

4. When it’s in your best interest, always practice obedience.

5. Let others know when they’ve invaded your territory.

6. Take naps and always stretch before rising.

7. Run, romp, and play daily.

8. Eat with gusto and enthusiasm.

9. Be loyal.

10. Never pretend to be something you’re not.

11. If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.

12. When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by, and nuzzle them gently.

13. Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.

14. Thrive on attention and let people touch you.

15. Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.

16. On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.

17. When you are happy, dance around and wag your entire body.

18. No matter how often you are criticized, don’t buy into the guilt thing and pout. Run right back and make friends.

Wagging with loyal anticipation,


© Copyright 2011, The Bearded Iris.

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