Have you seen my tweezers?
My other home is a toilet.
Read about my gimpy boob.
Don’t get up. I’ll come to you.
I play favorites.
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I get around.
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Category Archives: parenting
Ever since that fateful day in 1977 when I crashed my bike and broke my arm in two places after my brother and I followed our mother’s explicit instructions to “GET OUT. TAKE YOUR BIKES. AND DON’T COME BACK UNTIL THE STREET LIGHTS … Continue reading
Well, it’s Spring Break in these parts, and we’re staycationing this year…again. Spring Break travel requires much more advanced planning than I am ever able to successfully do, so here we are. Home sweet…holy shit, is there a wasps’ nest … Continue reading
I just found a dried booger on my shower curtain. It’s about two feet off the ground, on the outside of the curtain, right next to the toilet in my kids’ bathroom. After three kids, very little surprises me, and … Continue reading
As part of a new series we’ll call The Best of The Bearded Iris, the following is my most popular post of 2013 (originally published January 9, 2013). Happy New Year, friends. Stay warm today! Damn. Parenting is hard. Every … Continue reading
When we last left our heroine… Wait. I’m sorry, I just despise that word. I can never remember if it’s heroin or heroine and then I get nervous that people will think I’m leaving my smack lying around all willy nilly. … Continue reading