Category Archives: behind the beard

Another year, another set up for failure.

Posted on January 3, 2012 by The Bearded Iris

I don’t usually make New Year’s resolutions. Mainly because I’m too tired and hungover on New Year’s Day to start any exciting new regimens. And then on January 2nd I’m saying things like, “Well, it would be a shame to … Continue reading →

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I’m a better mother on the sauce.

Posted on December 13, 2011 by The Bearded Iris

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is two-fold today. First, I need your votes for Dobbie writing his name in the snow with his magic yellow pen. I entered him in Baby Rabies’ hilarious Inappropriate Elf Contest! Here … Continue reading →

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The Golden Rule of Gossip

Posted on December 6, 2011 by The Bearded Iris

Pssst. (Slyly turning my head both ways to make sure nobody will overhear.) Can you keep a secret? Meet me In the Powder Room. My weekly column is all about gossip! Just don’t tell anyone, okay? See you over there! … Continue reading →

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A Case for the Red Vagina

Posted on November 22, 2011 by The Bearded Iris

What do fertile primates, aging women, and The Bible Belt have in common? Come read my latest column In the Powder Room today and I’ll tell you. But come on back here tomorrow and I’ll hook you up with your … Continue reading →

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Penis jokes, stray bullets, and a punch in the face.

Posted on November 7, 2011 by The Bearded Iris

…or, how I became a writer. I’ve held a wide variety of jobs in my lifetime. I’ve been a dishwasher, a waitress, a bartender, a nanny, a voiceover artist, and a motivational speaker. I’ve worked in an ice cream shop, … Continue reading →

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I’m in the Powder Room.

Posted on November 3, 2011 by The Bearded Iris

Looking for me? Well, I’m In The Powder Room today, and probably will be all day. All that Halloween candy is taking its toll, if youknowwhatImean. Please visit me there. Those crazy broads actually pay me to write stuff and they’ll … Continue reading →

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WTF Wednesday: The Very Special Halloween Hangover Edition

Posted on November 2, 2011 by The Bearded Iris

{ding dong} You open the door. Here’s what you see: Immediately followed by the sound of my little Bucket Head singing: “Trick-or-Treat! Smell my feet! Give me something good to eat!” Always a crowd pleaser. But did you know there … Continue reading →

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My Mental Health Journey (Part 2): A Halloween Retrospective

Posted on October 31, 2011 by The Bearded Iris

So that was what all of our family Halloweens looked like BBH (before Bucket Head). Once he joined the party in the spring of 2007, things got exponentially more challenging for me. To cope with the extra workload, I bought … Continue reading →

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My Mental Health Journey (Part 1): A Halloween Retrospective

Posted on October 30, 2011 by The Bearded Iris

Looking back on old Halloween pictures has me feeling a little nostalgic today. Time sure flies when you’re herding a litter of babies. I’ve always loved Halloween. Now, as a mother, I love it even more. (Most of the time.) … Continue reading →

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Let’s just pretend that didn’t happen.

Posted on October 15, 2011 by The Bearded Iris

My 4 year old son Bucket Head doesn’t like to make mistakes. He recently started doing this thing where if he needs help with something like a chore or a puzzle piece, he undoes whatever we’ve helped him with and … Continue reading →

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