Welcome to The Bearded Iris: A Recalcitrant Wife and Mother Tells All.
Once upon a time, I thought I had the world by a string. Twenty years later…not so much, although there have been glimpses of greatness like that time I was on Oprah’s “Clean Up Your Messy House Tour” and the day I survived a snapping turtle attack. But for the most part, these days I’m more of an invisible vessel for grandchildren and PTA donations.
So I write.
This blog is pretty much the only place where I can complete a sentence without being asked to open a juice box or wipe a butt. (So quit asking me.) Writing keeps me semi-sane. And if I can make someone laugh or cry or think, then I’ve done my good deed for the day.
One husband, three kids, one dog, one minivan, and a tract home…you just can’t get any more stereotypical than that. I’m coming to you live from the ‘burbs of Atlanta where the stay at home moms play to win. I am a practicing Cafeteria Catholic, a borderline hoarder, and a recovering wine-aholic. I have a knack for saying the things most people are smart enough to keep confined to their heads. Never sit next to me at a funeral or a used appliance store.
A few other tidbits you really should know if we’re going to be friends:
I have excessive facial and body hair, but I’m working on it.
My favorite vegetable is kale.
It’s very likely that I was dropped on my head as a child.
I’ve been published in two anthologies…with pretty embarrassing stories that in hindsight I probably shouldn’t have written. Wooops.
Yes, I do occasional product reviews. But only if your product is awesome, and only if you don’t mind me using the word vagina somewhere in the post.
If you’re looking for me, I’m probably In The Powder Room, where I am the Editor-in-Chief and managing partner.
Thanks for stopping by and wanting to get to know me better! I like you already.
© Copyright 2008-2013, The Bearded Iris. All rights reserved.