The Bearded Iris

A Recalcitrant Wife and Mother Tells All

Search results: "kale" (page 1 of 3)

Roasted Kale Chips

When your loyal canine companion is in the hoosegow for the crime of protecting his family from a stick-wielding intruder, chances are you may want to take the edge off with a cocktail. Or two.

But if that’s not an option, you’ll need something else to squelch your sadness.

And indignation.

And rage.

You could choose something sweet and satisfying like several pints of Ben & Jerry’s. Or perhaps you would prefer to tie a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos to your face and go to town. Either of these options would work nicely in the short run.

As for me, I am choosing the high road. I need to be in tip top physical and mental shape when I go to Night Court to defend my sweet dog later this month and reduce his sentence. I am training for battle.

And thus, when I get that urge to snack until I burst, I will be snacking on Roasted Kale Chips.

They are super easy to make, very satisfying to munch on, and pretty healthy too. Here’s my recipe if you’d like to try these yourself…

You will need:

  • one bunch of fresh kale
  • extra virgin olive oil
  • salt and pepper

Here’s what you do:

1.) Preheat your oven to 400° F.

2.) Wash your kale. Or don’t, if you don’t mind some bugs, and/or pesticides, and/or E. coli with your kale chips. Totally up to you.

3.) Strip the leaves off the kale stems by holding the stem in one hand and grasping the leaves in the other hand, then pulling the stem away from the leaves like so:

And no, I’m not doing that with my feet. Did you think I was kidding when I told you about my hands? Not kidding. Hands like feet. Man feet. I can type really fast though and open jars like a mofo.

4.) Dry your kale leaves thoroughly. You know I am a big fan of the Spin n’ Stor for this part.

5.) Rip your kale into bite sized pieces.

6.) Spread the torn kale on a cookie sheet, preferably one with sides. I’m using the Pampered Chef large stoneware bar pan. I use it for everything. Look how beautifully seasoned mine is!

If you want one, come to my Pampered Chef party on Saturday or email me and I’ll order one for you.

7.) Drizzle the kale with extra virgin olive oil. Probably about a tablespoon.

8.) Salt and pepper to taste… but not too much! If you are feeling frisky, you could even put a little sprinkle of chili powder or garlic powder on at this point. That would be goo-ooo-oood!

9.) Use your hands and really mix it up so the oil and seasonings coat every single piece.

10) Place in the oven for about 20 minutes. You’ll want to stir it up once or twice while it is roasting.

The edges will brown up. That’s okay! It adds a great crispy texture and smokey taste that totally melts in your mouth.

11.) Serve and enjoy!

Iris's Roasted Kale Chips

By the way, I do this same technique with several other veggies like cauliflower and brussels sprouts (cut into fourths). It is delicious!! Try it and let me know what you think.

your friend,


© Copyright 2011, The Bearded Iris.

Sexy Raw Kale Salad Recipe

I was in the checkout line at the grocery store the other day, trying to de-crinkle my coupons and keep Bucket Head from tearing into an eye-level packet of M&Ms, when my weary eyes landed on THIS:

And I said to myself, “Damn. Bitch stole my look!” Because seriously, Eva and I could be twins. Especially in the kitchen.  Just try to tell me I’m wrong.

The only diff I can see is that Eva’s gently stirring a fattening batter of some kind and I’m working up a sweat making a raw kale salad.

Silly Eva. Nobody believes you, darlin’. I could floss my teeth with one of your skinny arms. There is no way in hell you are eating anything that starts with a batter.

And since swimsuit season approacheth faster than a speeding Epilady, I thought this week would be as good a time as any to share with you one of my favorite healthy salads, made with the hottest green-leafy thang on the market. Oh yes my friends, haven’t you heard? “Kale is the new spinach,” according to Mitch on Modern Family.

I am cuckoo for kale. It is absolutely packed with antioxidants, phytonutrients, and fiber. Sadly, most people think that you have to cook the hell out of kale in order to enjoy it. Not true. If you cook any veggie too much, you will cook out most of its nutrients. So don’t do that! Instead, try this raw recipe. It’s a winner.

I tasted a version of it for the first time at the Whole Foods salad bar and it was love at first bite. Then I came home and googled it and have been experimenting with my own version for a few months. It’s very simple, healthy, and satisfying.

Here’s what you need:

  • 1 bunch of fresh kale
  • 1/2 of a red bell pepper
  • 1 lemon
  • 1 ripe avocado (optional)
  • 1/4 cup pine nuts
  • extra virgin olive oil
  • salt, pepper, garlic powder


Wash your kale, then pull the leaves off the woody stems. If you make juices or soups, save the stems in your freezer. If not, just feed them to the worms or let your kids sword fight with them outside until someone gets poked in the eye.

Dry the kale leaves. I use a “Spin n’ Stor” produce spinning bag that I bought for $3 in the produce section of my grocery store, but you could use a salad spinner or even tea towels. Whatever.

Now it’s time to cut up the kale. This is the hardest part of this recipe. It is critical for the kale to be chopped into pretty small pieces. I like to stack a bunch of leaves on top of each other and then roll them up into a big kale doobie. Then you run your sharpest knife through the roll to make what le Francais call a “chiffonade”:

Run your knife through the pile a few times in the opposite direction just to make sure you don’t miss anything. I would say you don’t want any pieces bigger than a nickel.

Put all your finely chopped kale into a very big bowl.

Next, we add the dressing ingredients, right onto the kale. You need equal measures of fresh lemon juice and good quality extra virgin olive oil. For one bunch of kale, I would start with 2 tablespoons of each. You can always add more if you feel like the salad is too dry.

Add a nice hearty pinch of sea salt and freshly ground black pepper (to taste). I swear by pink Himalayan sea salt from Trader Joe’s.

Now the fun part. It is time to massage the kale. Yes, you heard me. Go wash your hands again and take off your grandmother’s wedding ring.

Raw kale is pretty tough. But we don’t want to cook all the good nutrients out, right? So what we’ll do is let the lemon juice and salt “cook” the kale for us. It’s just like making a ceviche with fresh fish and lime juice.

Put your hands into the salad and squeeze that kale, honey! Squeeze it, rub it, run your hands back and forth with a big dollop of kale in between. It. Feels. So. Good! And the kale likes it too. Believe me, this is the money shot.

Unlike heavy petting in the back of your daddy’s Oldsmobile, you can’t massage your kale too much. I say, do it for at least 5 minutes. You’ll know when to stop… the kale will tell you. It shrinks down to about half its original size when you’ve squeezed all the toughness out of it. Yeah, I said it.

Now chop up that red pepper into a small dice and toss it in. Half of a red pepper is plenty. The kale is the star of this show, not the pepper.

Next, I want you to toast your pine nuts in a dry skillet. Watch them closely. Those expensive little suckers will burn faster than you can shout “STOP HITTING YOUR SISTER, GOD DAMMIT!” (Hypothetically speaking, of course!)

Once your nuts have cooled off (wink wink), add them to the salad.

If you like avocado, chop one up and add it last. I always do. The creaminess of the avocado is magical with the crisp texture of the kale.

Now sprinkle on some garlic powder (about 1/8 – 1/4 tsp.) and give the whole thing a gentle stir. Taste for seasoning and add more salt and/or lemon juice & olive oil if needed.

The Bearded Iris’s Raw Kale Salad

Eat immediately! This salad does not keep very well. The kale soaks up all the dressing and it will taste a little dry the next day. I learned this the hard way when I brought it for a pot luck once and it sat around for 5 hours before dinner was finally served. Don’t you hate that?! So embarrassing. Everyone still seemed to like it, but it was not nearly as good as it is when you eat it right away. Oh well, live and learn.

So give this baby a try and let me know how you like it. Full disclosure, my kids do not care for this dish, yet. But I’m not giving up that easily. Also, you should know, if you have a great big serving of this bad boy, I can guaran-damn-tee you that you will have the best poop of your life the next day. My gift to you. Enjoy!

your friend,


© Copyright 2011, The Bearded Iris.

Summer break, a job, awards, jam, love, & sex.

Today is the last day of school for my two big ‘uns, and my Bucket Head finished last Friday. Yes, you are correct, kids in the South DO get out of school a lot earlier than other kids. That’s because we need to get them out in the fields picking cotton with us ASAP or we won’t have a snowball’s chance in H-E-Double-Fucking-Hockeysticks to win the Blue Ribbon for the biggest crop at the County Faaaaaaair.

Image credit: Places in the Heart: Kobal Collection

On the plus (and minus) side, our kids also return to school at a ridiculously early date: August 9th. It is so backasswards, I’ve been here 9 years and I still can’t get my head around it. By the time August rolls around we’ll finally have found our summer stride and it will be way too hot for the kids to be in school all day. That’s when we need to be lying about in hammocks and skipping rocks and lazing around the pool all day…not shopping for school supplies and new shoes, dammit.

I did the math for you: our summer is 75 days long. Hold me. At least it is two days shorter than last year.

But on a positive note, this week TWO of my children won awards for Perfect Attendance! I know! Can you believe it?! Nature Boy and Mini-Me both made it through the entire school year without missing a single dingle damn day. I’m proud of my kids and all, but really it should be the parents who get this award for nurturing their children’s kick-ass immune systems and/or getting their kids lazy bones out of bed and to the bus stop on time all year long. So I’m commandeering this award for myself. Suck it, kids.


Hey, you know what doesn’t suck? My friend Emily G’s Jam of Love. (This is not a sponsored post, nor is it an example of how to do a smooth segue.) I just bring this up because one of my lovely readers (Lisa) was kind enough to point out to me that I never announced who won my first ever (and probably only) giveaway! Doy-yoy-yoy! Sorry about that. It was Jane. I used’s sequence generator and it told me that commenter #53 was the winner, so congrats Jane! I hope you like your jams as much as I do!

And speaking of exciting news (and bad segues), I got a job…a real job…a job that pays cash money instead of just frozen corn dogs and body washes to review. Seriously PR people, back the fark off. We don’t want your crappy products. We want money and/or gift cards to the Liquor Barn.

Anyhoooo, my fancy new job comes with a real live press release and everything! This is the real deal, yo, and I couldn’t be more excited or proud. I feel like I have hit the Mother Lode by working with the InThePowderRoom team. They get me. They really get me. And I can actually make jokes about things like anal sex and boners and stool samples on conference calls and not get fired. Remember that ten year gap on my resume? Completely irrelevant now. Keep the faith, my fellow SAHMs…if a foul-mouthed kale-eating hooker like ME can find a dream job, there is hope for us all.

Lastly, I have to tell you something. My sweet husband, The Gatekeeper, stopped reading my blog posts (both here and In The Powder Room) several months ago. He did that because he doesn’t usually like what I write about him, men in general, or sexytimes (or lack thereof). But yesterday, our anniversary, he saw that I was scanning an old picture of us and was curious to know what I wrote.

Well apparently he liked it because he emailed me a written response to share with you all. I’m completely verklempt. Ladies and gentlemen, it is my honor and privilege to share with you a guest post by The Gatekeeper:

Yes I would most definitely do it all again.  But I have to say, her efforts to get me to notice her were totally un-necessary, I mean WOW how could I not notice her, she was beautiful (and still is).  By the time we connected at our friend’s goodbye party I was hooked, and after our coffee date I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her.

What she didn’t tell you is that she tried to break up with me after our 4th date (the 4th date had some significance in her mind??).  She said she was getting too serious about me and was not ready to be in a committed relationship.  So I listened, but instead I suggested that we go to Reno and get married.  I called her the next morning still pushing the Reno idea.

We didn’t run off to Reno but we did stay together.  The year we got engaged we went to Pittsburgh for Christmas.  While there we went to visit the parents of a good friend of Leslie’s, to wish them a Merry Christmas and share our news.  I remember the Father saying something like, remember how you feel about each other right now and carry that feeling with you throughout your marriage.  It was great advice and no matter what is going on in our lives I keep that memory close and I am reminded of just how crazy in love I am with her.

(*sniffle sniffle, HONK*)

I mean really.

Excuse me. I need a moment.

Okay, I’m back. That Father he’s referring to was my college friend Jen’s dad Larry. We still send each other Christmas cards every year.

By the way, I found a picture of The Gatekeeper in that hat I mentioned yesterday. Ladies and gay men, brace yourselves:


Hubba hubba!

AND he can cook, too.

Back off, bitches. He’s mine…all mine.

Have a beautiful Memorial Day Weekend everyone, and please, don’t come a knockin’ if the minivan is a-rockin’.



Career Day

Nature Boy (the 12 year old) said to me the other morning, “Oh Mom, I forgot to tell you, today is Career Day at school.”

So I did what any Stay at Home Mom/Writer/Blogger would do.

I put my coffee cup down, turned off the news, got up off the couch, and started gathering supplies. I picked up someone’s dirty socks off the floor, grabbed my laptop, and then headed to the kitchen for a scouring pad, a frying pan, a fire extinguisher, and a first aid kit.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“Well you obviously want me to come to Career Day to speak to your friends about my job, so I’m gathering visual aids.”

The look.

Oh dear God in Heaven, the look of terror on this child’s face…you would have thought I had just ordered him to go to school naked, pedaling a tricycle.

“No Mom. That’s not why I’m telling you. I just need you to sign my permission slip.”

“You don’t want me to speak to your class?”

“No thanks.”

Oh crap. Cue the PTSD flashback about that time I overheard my daughter saying “When I grow up, I’m going to have a real job, not like Mommy.”


My kids clearly have no idea that I quit a lucrative job ten years ago for the express purpose of being at home with them. And now here I am, with three kids, the paltry remnants of a long neglected 401K, a ten year gap on my resume, and a very clear message that I’m not invited to Career Day.

Move over, Self-Pity; it’s Rage’s turn to talk.

“Why not? My job is important. My job is interesting. I’m successful at what I do, you know.”

“It’s not that, Mom.”

condescending willy wonka on blogging

“I was just in The Huffington Freaking Post, dude. And so were you! They quoted us both, remember?”

“Mo-ooooooooooooom. All the Career Day speakers are already lined up. It’s too late to get on the schedule.”

“Well, ask me earlier next time, Hon. I’d love to talk to your class about my job. There are so many cool things I could discuss!”

“Really.” (Sarcasm?! He knows sarcasm?! Well played, my boy, well played.)

“Uh-YUH! Like how to remove stains, reduce photo size for faster webpage loading, cut brownies perfectly, code with HTML, auger a toilet, boost SEO, get kids to school on time, use social media for marketing, erase water marks from coffee tables, install WordPress plugins, remove a tick, burn a blog feed, finger whistle, vlog, manage a household budget, build your brand, dress a wound, understand and comply with FTC regulations, ooh – my raw kale salad recipe!….”

“Mom. I have to go. Maybe next year. Okay?”

“Well, what parent presentations have you signed up to attend?”

“Cooking and Insurance.”

“Excuse me?” (Did he just say what I think he said?)

“I said Cooking and Insurance. There’s going to be a real restaurant chef there and also a former college football player who now sells insurance.”


“Mom. I have to go.”

“I was expecting you to say Paleontologist or Criminologist or Film Director.”

“MOM. I’m going to miss the bus.”

“Do you even know what I do all day? Shoot, honey, I can teach you how to cook, for Pete’s sake. Do you want to see our insurance policies after school? Geez, I had no idea you were so interested in those things.”


“Hold up. You think selling insurance is more interesting than running a household, raising children, and writing comedy? I feel like I don’t even know you.”

“Mom, I have to go. Can we talk about it after school?”

“Okay. Fine. Have fun learning about those exciting careers.”

“I love you Mom. Have a good day. Oh Mom? I’m out of socks. Can you please do my laundry today?”

“We’ll see. I’m live Tweeting the Dr. Oz show. He’s doing a whole episode about gynecological mysteries and I can’t miss it.”

(There’s that look again.)

Oh snap.


This one’s for all the hard working mothers and bloggers out there who never get asked to speak at Career Day. Fuck that fucking shit.

Source: Know Your Meme

Jam on Your Mother’s Day Gift Giving!

I hardly ever do product reviews or giveaways.

Actually, I’ve never done a product review or giveaway.

And I’ve been blogging for nearly 4 years, so that’s a lot of free shit I’ve turned down.

Nothing against bloggers who do these things on a regular basis, it’s just not my thang. For starters, I’m pretty lazy. Secondly, I’m in a life-or-death battle against clutter; the last thing I need is MORE stuff in my house to sample and review. And thirdly, I am very picky. Honestly, for my first sponsored review, I am holding out for something epic like a Showcase Showdown prize package on The Price is Right. (Wish me luck.)

Sure, I’ve named a few products out of the goodness of my heart over the past few years that I love, like thisthis, and this. And there was that one time I accidentally offered free sex in exchange for some unbroken taco shells. Actually, I got some coupons out of that hot mess, so that was cool. (Hi Jeff. Call me.)

Also, one time? (At Band Camp?) Because I was naive? And didn’t realize it was a slimy thing to do? I let some guy slip his link into one of my old posts for 50 bucks. It felt as dirty as it sounds. Oh well, live and learn.

But I’m getting to the point in my blogging career where I’d like to try different kinds of writing and maybe even eventually earn some fun money to support my addiction-du-jour.

So today, I’m going to attempt my first ever product review and giveaway! I’m doing it for a friend, fo’ free, because I need the practice, I love her, and she’s willing to be my guinea pig.

Meet Emily.

Isn’t she lovely?

She’s really funny too. If you follow her on Twitter, you already know this.

Emily makes jam.

But this is not your grandma’s jam. Oh no no no.

Emily has her own company called Emily G’s Jam of Love. She makes badass jams, sauces, and seasonings.

Jalapeño Raspberry and Strawberry Chipotle are my two favorites so far.

I like to serve the Strawberry Chipotle over a brick of softened cream cheese with crackers for an easy appetizer that is slap-yo-baby-good.

And you haven’t really lived until you’ve tried a Brie Quesadilla with Jalapeño Raspberry jam.

Emily sells her unique jams at retail locations all over the USA. She also partners with chefs and restaurants who want to use Jam of Love in their menus. Because FYI, jam isn’t just for PB&J sandwiches anymore! (*eye roll and tch-sound*)

With just a few basic ingredients, you can turn one of Emily’s jams into a sophisticated sauce that will liven up any dish. And she’s got a whole page of recipes and cheese pairings to make it easy for you.

Twice now, I’ve made Emily’s Salmon with Wine and Mustard recipe. As if a jam made with Cabernet Sauvignon could be anything BUT lick-the-plate worthy. This is my new go-to salmon dish…so easy, but so gooooooood. Even Bucket Head gobbled it up, and he tends to only eat paste-colored foods as a general rule.

Emily G's Salmon with Wine and Mustard, served with roasted broccoli and rice.

Check out the professional grill marks. My husband rocks.

So get this. Emily has offered to send one of my readers a custom gift box of three full-sized jams! Look how pretty:

This lovely gift box is valued at $29.99 and would make a fabulous Mother’s Day gift! Emily will even ship it directly to whomever you’d like, including a card if it’s a gift.

To enter the giveaway, just leave me a comment below (one comment per person, please). If it were any easier, you’d need a washcloth and a cigarette afterward.

And let’s make it interesting, m’kay? I want your comment to include a line about a time that your mom helped you out of a jam. (See what I did there?) If you can’t think of anything (for whatever reason)…

…you can tell us of a way that someone else helped you out of a jam.

Okay fine, just tell us about a jam, any jam. Keep it clean. Kidding. Go for it. Whatever.

I’ll start.

My mom sent her boyfriend to get my car out of an icy ditch before the cops could arrive and discover I was an underage driver.

That’s a true story, by the way. My mom’s boyfriend eventually became my step father, and the two of them have been regularly helping me out of jams for the past 27 years.

Okay, your turn!

I will randomly draw a winner on Friday 5/4/12 at 12:00 EDT. I will then notify the winner via email. If said winner doesn’t respond within 72 hours to said email, I will randomly pick another winner, rinse, and repeat. Don’t make me work too hard. Emily and I have things to do, people.

Garsh, did I mention this is my first giveaway. I hope I don’t muck it up too much. Please be gentle with me.

Oh yeah, there are rules:

  • No duplicate comments.
  • No purchase necessary.
  • Void where prohibited.
  • Always wipe from front to back.
  • This giveaway is open to US Residents age 18 or older. Do you know how hard it is to ship food out of the country? It’s hard. Sorry. Get over it.

Please note, I have NOT asked you to “like” The Bearded Iris on Facebook as part of this giveaway. It is my understanding that the FTC frowns on such behavior. But it wouldn’t kill you to show people how you feel. Be a mensch. It’s two clicks. And take a sweater; you never know.

with unconditional motherly love,

-Leslie (aka Iris)

 This is not a sponsored post. I have received no compensation or goods in exchange for this review. All opinions are my own. Yes, they are real, and they are spectacular. 

What I Wore Wednesday

I have a confession to make.

I’m not much of a fashionista.

You know that cute outfit I wore for my big photo shoot with my BFF Laura a few years back?

Designer denim, close-fitting top, industrial-strength bra, chunky necklace, leopard peep-toe heels…

I don’t really dress like that most of the time.

In real life, I’m more of a sweatpants/man’s t-shirt/comfortable shoes/ponytail/no make-up kind of gal. In other words, Frumpasaurus Rex.

Truly, if you ran into me at the Piggly Wiggly, you probably wouldn’t even recognize me. That’s kinda my evil-genius-plan, actually.

Of course, it never works out that way. Like the Murphy’s Law of Fashion, if you ever want to guarantee you’ll run into someone you know, leave the house in your pajamas or house cleaning clothes (aka, my daily uniform).

Speaking of which, last Monday afternoon, little Bucket Head and I ran to the store for a couple of last minute staples (i.e. wine and kale).

Anyhooo… as I’m walking to my car in my flip flops, dirty cargo pants, and tomato stained t-shirt, I saw a striking woman smiling at me. No lie, this lady looked like a movie star. She had on short-shorts (with the legs to pull it off), sassy wedge heels, a peasant blouse, huge sunglasses, and her hair was Farrah Fawcett perfect. She almost blinded me with her luminescent smile. I wondered why she was smiling at me. Was my fly down? Toilet paper stuck to my shoe? Was Bucket Head shaking his groove thing? That’s when it dawned on me…OMG, I know her.


Hold it right there, Bub. Don’t assume she’s 23 years old just because she’s a student teacher with killer gams in a trendy getup. Welcome to Atlanta, honey. This foxy lady is a full-grown woman with three kids ages 10 and up! I would have guessed she was in her mid thirties.

My first thought: SHIT – I hope she doesn’t see these two gigantic boxes of wine in my cart! Then I thought, well damn, maybe it will earn my child some sympathy points… as in, “Bless her heart, her mama’s a lush and all.”

The next day, Mini-Me said “Mrs. Fletcher told me she saw you at the grocery store yesterday. I just love her. She’s SO pretty. Mom, can you believe she’s 41 years old, just like you? I mean she looks so young!!!”

{mwah mwaaaaaah}

Fuck. A. Duck.

And I don’t say that lightly. Ducks have super scary penises, FYI.

So I was feeling even frumpier than usual when I happened upon this post by a sassy new blogging sistah, Heather. It confirmed my suspicions that I should probably put a little more effort into my everyday outward appearance.

pleated poppy

The comments from that post lead me to another post called What I Wore Wednesday by the adorable and totally-not-frumpy-looking Lindsey over at The Pleated Poppy. There, women from all over the blogosphere are linking up to showcase cute outfits they wore the week before.

And that reminded me of this post from last week by Megan over at Declutter Daily. Megan is my decluttering hero. She only has 24 things in her closet! Here’s what she has to say about that:

More recently I am finding that I  tend to look more put together,  mostly it’s just the difference between a blouse and a t-shirt, nothing big. I guess it is because everything is easy to find; accessories, shoes, scarves- I know where they are and the choices are not overwhelming.

Put all these events together and what do you get? A fashion show! Yep, I peeled off my nacho cheese and dog hair encrusted sweats and put together a real outfit today, with a bra and lipstick and everythang!

Wanna see? (Oh just humor me and look. I’m obviously starved for attention.)

"Oh Niles, you cheek! Of course I'll star in your British mini-series about frumpy Americans!"

"Ack, the nerve. He cast someone else for the role! Didn't he see my jiggly grandma arms?!"




"Fine. Forget the mini-series. Who do I have to fuck to get some unbroken taco shells?"

"Ewwwww. Ike's been eating crayons again. Dammit. And you wonder why I drink."



So that’s What I Wore Wednesday. And wouldn’t you know it? I didn’t see a single person I knew. Figures.

And that’s why I’m wearing it again today, and probably tomorrow too. Although I paired it with some leopard flats and a coral cardigan today, just so people won’t think I’m homeless.

Bucket Head took this action shot... he's only 4, give him a break.

Here are the details of my ensemble, just in case you want to emulate my look, and/or avoid where I shop:

  • Jeans: Levi’s 501, from the men’s department at Kohl’s
  • Tanks: J. Crew (striped tissue tank) & Jockey PJ tank under it
  • Cardigan: J. Crew
  • Shoes: both pairs are from Target
  • Bag: Coach Outlet
  • Bracelet: SERRV Catalog (OMG, it’s on sale!) 

Final verdict? It felt good to be fully dressed in something semi-presentable. I actually felt like people treated me differently…in a good way. Maybe I was just reeking of confidence and commanded more respect. Hey, better than my usual reek of wine, urine, and defeat, I’ll tell you that

Let’s get an expert opinion. Bucket Head? What did you think of Mommy’s new look? 

"Oh SNAP!"

I’ll take that as a compliment.

Here’s to making an effort!


PS – If you haven’t yet, please “like” The Bearded Iris at’s list of the Top 50 Mom Blogs. One vote per device. If I make it into the top ten, I’ll tell you the story about the time I shot a man.

© Copyright 2011, The Bearded Iris.

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