Come to Mama Sausage Dip, for most of your bartering needs

I’ve been told there’s a big football game on this weekend. Frankly, I couldn’t care less. If my Steelers aren’t playing, I’d just as soon curl up with Jamie Fraser, I mean, a good book.

But that means my husband will be going to his parents’ house for a Super Bowl Party, and hopefully taking all three of our kids with him so I can stay home alone and figure out why all my friends can’t stop gushing over Downton Abbey.

Hey, as a mother of three, I don’t get very much alone time. So Super Bowl Sunday is kind of a special day for me, and not just because it’s the grande finale of my holiday eating season.

Yes, just because I won’t be watching the big game doesn’t mean I won’t be eating like it.

Conrad Bain was mr. drummond on Diff'rent Strokes

Jim (aka “The Gatekeeper”) will undoubtedly make a huge batch of his famous hot wings, leaving me my own personal heaping tray of “the good ones.” (I only eat the wingette, never the drummette, not to be confused with the Drummond, may he rest in peace.)

And celery dipped in chunky blue cheese dressing totally counts as a vegetable, y’all.

There will be another vegetable course of bacon wrapped cheesy jalapeño peppers.

And I will be making a big ol’ vat of what I affectionately like to call my Come to Mama Sausage Dip.

I don’t make this dish very often, or I’d have to install an AED in my kitchen, but it sure is delicious and easy to make. And it’s a real crowd pleaser, let me tell you—especially with the men folk.

The Bearded Iris's Come to Mama Sausage Dip and Bartering Tool

As an added bonus, this dip makes for an excellent bartering tool.

Ladies, we all know that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. So if you want your man to be putty in your hands without having to do some bush hogging or soil your sheets, just shell out some of this dip and sit back while he moans and groans in sausage-infused ecstasy. That’s right, give him a foodgasm and your every wish will be his command.

Need a day to yourself? Sausage dip.

Want him to take down the Christmas lights? Sausage dip.

New DSLR that costs more than your first car? Sorry. That’s probably going to require a more literal sausage dip. Step away from your Amazon cart and go spruce up your downtown, Loretta.

But for the rest of you with less expensive taste…

Come to Mama Sausage Dip

Ingredients:

  • 16 ounce roll of breakfast sausage* (don’t get that puny 12 ounce thing…this is no time to settle for a little sausage)
  • 2 bricks of cream cheese (8 oz. each)
  • 10 ounce can of RO*TEL (Diced Tomatoes & Green Chilies; find it in the canned veggie aisle)

RO*TEL original tomatoes and green chilis

*If you like to spice things up a bit, and I suspect that you do, get either spicy sausage, OR spicy RO*TEL. Don’t double down on the spice unless you want to spend a lot of quality time with Bernie Bunger over the next few days.

Now let’s get cookin’, good lookin’!

Brown up the sausage. I use a big cast iron skillet for this. Break up the big chunks of sausage with a wooden spoon while it cooks. Then drain the grease off and set the crumbled sausage on a layer or two of paper towel. If your crumbles aren’t small enough, chop ‘em up and set aside.

Then, heat the cream cheese on med-low until it gets all melty and slap yo’ mama good. Personally, I’m a big fan of using every single pot and pan in my kitchen whenever I cook. But you could probably do this in the same big skillet you used to brown up your sausage if you are one of those more organized people who doesn’t leave a swath of destruction every time you enter the kitchen.

Once the cream cheese is hot and melty, add the RO*TEL and crumbled sausage and heat through. Easy, peasy, muffin-top squeezie.

Please serve this dip with Frito’s Scoops on the side. Don’t get all fancy and try to shovel this slop with wafer-thin Carr’s Water Crackers. This is a white trash, man pleasin’, artery clogging bartering tool and should be paired accordingly. M’kay?

Don’t worry, you can head back to the gym on Monday. Or do like I do and just camouflage that flesh belt with bold patterns and some cleavage peek-a-boo. Or perhaps a coon-skin cap. Nobody will ask you when your food baby is due if they think you’re a hooker or a rifleman.

Enjoy your weekend, friends!

Come to Mama Sausage Dip
Recipe Type: Appetizer
Author: The Bearded Iris
Hot, molten, cheesy, sausage dip perfect for the big game!
Ingredients
  • 16 ounce roll of breakfast sausage* (don’t get that puny 12 ounce thing…this is no time to settle for a little sausage)
  • 2 bricks of cream cheese (8 oz. each)
  • 10 ounce can of RO*TEL (Diced Tomatoes & Green Chilies; find it in the canned veggie aisle)
  • Fritos Scoops
Instructions
  1. Brown the sausage; break up the big chunks of sausage with a wooden spoon while it cooks. Then drain the grease off and set the crumbled sausage on a layer or two of paper towel. Set aside.
  2. Heat the cream cheese on med-low in a saucepan until it gets all melty and slap-yo’-mama good.
  3. Once the cream cheese is hot and melted, add the RO*TEL and crumbled sausage and heat through.
  4. Best served warm with Fritos Scoops on the side. It’s a heavy dip and requires a strong chip or you’ll be wearing it instead of eating it. (Trust me on this.)
Notes
*If you like to spice things up a bit, and I suspect that you do, get EITHER spicy sausage, OR spicy RO*TEL. Don’t double down on the spice. You can thank me later.

About The Bearded Iris

Leslie Marinelli is a writer, humorist, blogger, life hacker, and invisible vessel for grandchildren and PTA donations.
This entry was posted in food and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

23 Responses to Come to Mama Sausage Dip, for most of your bartering needs

  1. Julie DeNeen says:

    I’ll bet I could get a few things done with that there sausage dip! Going to print it out and give it a try! And by the way, my holiday food season doesn’t ever end. You can do that ya know! :)

  2. Ann says:

    If you really want to white-trash it up use the biggest block of Velveeta you can find in place of that fancy cream cheese!

    I’m with you…game? What game?

    FOOD!!!

    • Oh LAWD, that really would trash this recipe UP. And it would be thinner and runnier, so you could actually eat it with store brand corn chips. Or a spoon, like soup. What time are you coming over. I’ll go look for a bra.

  3. Brittany says:

    OK someone just asked me when my food baby was due the other day and it’s not even the Superbowl yet! Thanks for the advice on how to camouflage the extra chunks! haha

  4. I think if I made my husband something that contained sausage he’d fall in love with me all over again. I may have to consider this recipe. This and the bacon wrapped cheesy jalapenos. I don’t get left alone during the superbowl, but I do watch it for the commercials!

  5. Snappy says:

    Easy to make! My kind of recipe.

    You’ll love Downton Abbey – so good. If you are going to watch last week’s episode make sure to have at least seven boxes of Kleenex.

  6. Teri says:

    You did such an amazing job with the stuffing recipe that I HAVE to believe that this will be awesome!!

  7. L. Hewitt says:

    I forgot the blue cheese dressing! Perfect excuse to go back (or send hubs, even better) and get stuff for dip and since I said stuff, I should make those jalepeno peppers and you have now officially flung 2 separate cravings on my at one time and I am thinking that this spice and salt has to be followed up with something sweet. Well played lass.
    Sorryfortherunonsentence. I don’t watch sports. Surprised?

  8. Skinny Jean Colleen says:

    Oh great, I plan on bringing your amazing jalapeño bacon thingys and now you come up with something that may be even better. Time to get me to the store and buy me some sausages. Thanks for the recipe.
    Niners are in so I’m all over this Superbowl. I’ll be the one with the bacon grease and beer all over my shirt. Enjoy the quiet time!

  9. Babe, I do not even know what to comment on. You make my heart stop and had my attention(admittedly tho it’s easily had) at sausage. Then flesh belt, Loretta, OMG. I think you are the most adorably darlingest crazyperson our there. EVER. Why isn’t there an email subscribe on your bloggity? I’m too dumb to actually read bloglines stuff or something. I NEED YOU in my INBOX. Not figuratively. That would be inappropriate.

    • Yay! I love that you enjoyed my Loretta line! And I would love to be in your inbox. There totally IS an email subscribe option! You can either click the RSS button on my side bar and then choose the email option, or a little farther down on my sidebar there is an email subscription form box labeled “Don’t get up, I’ll come to you.” Please do subscribe! It’s so much easier for me than chasing people down and igniting bags of dog poo on their front porch.

  10. A more literal sausage dip – LOL! Every time I read sausage dip, that’s exactly what I was thinking. My husband is motivated by food, for sure. But he’s even more motivated by the opportunity to dip is sausage.

  11. Jennifer says:

    You always make me smile.

  12. Roshni says:

    …wait! You HAVEN’T jumped on the Downton Abbey bandwagon yet?!! You and I may be the only ones in the universe now who haven’t done that!!

  13. RachRiot says:

    Ooohh… I think I just cream cheesed my shorts reading that recipe. I’m making this pronto with one add-on: a few spoonfuls of crushed LIPITOR® festively sprinkled over the top. Problem solved.

  14. Suniverse says:

    Now I’m starving. Yum.

  15. Mia says:

    Oooh, husband and I are staying in this year just the two of us…..I am so going to make this for us to eat–thanks for posting:)

  16. I am such the sausage person. My husband is a picky eater and would never touch anything where he can’t identify each.individual.ingredient. But since we are going to a party, this would be perfect to take — if I made it for just us, I’d be the only one eating it. Which I would do, of course.

  17. Ginny says:

    Oh YUM. This is one of my favorite dip recipes, except mine uses one container of cream cheese. Almost healthy!
    Your shrimp corn chowder is one of our favorite meals too, and now I’m hoping you’ll share more. Or maybe you could just make me some food. Just re-finished book 7 of the Outlander series, and happy to have food distractions. Thanks for your blog.

  18. Jamie Fraser and Sausage in the same post? Yeek! Too good to be true!

  19. Scarlett says:

    The sausage dip looks amazing, I hope you made a whole tub of it and just ate it with a ladle… xxx

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