Words With Friends, The Best Misogynistic Game Around!

Sorry folks, but we need a couple more days to tally the votes for the Craft Whores contest. This is our first link-up partay, and the judging has turned out to be a little more challenging than we thought it would be!

As a consolation prize while you wait, let’s talk about Words With Friends.

It’s the Scrabble knock-off that’s one of the hottest games on the Internet these days.

Are you playing?

I play every day. It’s how I keep my brain so sharp. (Where are my fucking keys?! Dammit!)

And one thing I’ve noticed is that this game is totally misogynistic.

How else do you explain that vagina-related words like queef, cunt, and clit are unacceptable words but dong, balls, fart, and wang are fine?

Clearly, the creators of WWF prefer sausage to eggs. I’m just saying.

Look, I’m not making this up. Here’s a screen shot from one of my recent games:

The hell? My opponent, thoova, played the word FART, and then when I tried to play the female equivalent, I was DENIED. Total double standard.

So annoying. Good Q words are hard to come by.

At least TWAT is an acceptable word. Score one for the pink team.

Anyhooo. These are things my WWF comrades and I complain about on the Twitter in between moves.

And that’s where you can usually find me during coffee breaks in the morning and commercial breaks at night. My username is “The Bearded Iris” if you’re looking for a WWF partner with the sense of humor of a 12-year-old boy.

More soon on the Craft Whores contest. Damn, if y’all hadn’t linked up such awesome crafts, this would have been so much easier to judge. I blame you and your vagtastic crafts, really.

Looking for something awesome to read today? Head on over to In The Powder Room where the ever-hilarious Wendi Aarons is guest posting about her new implants and Kim Bongiorno is sharing her Perimenopausal Mix Tape suggestions. So funny!

With QI, JO, and ZA,
-Leslie

 

About The Bearded Iris

Leslie Marinelli is a writer, humorist, blogger, life hacker, and invisible vessel for grandchildren and PTA donations.
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17 Responses to Words With Friends, The Best Misogynistic Game Around!

  1. Amy says:

    To keep the romance alive, the hubs and I play dirty WWF. It makes our nighttime routine (me on the couch, him in the recliner, both staring at our phones listening to the tv) much sexier.

  2. Contrary to what some women have attempted to get me to believe (I am not making that up), farting is not exclusive to men. Well, either that or my wife, daughter, and mother are total anomalies.

    I think the real tragedy here is that we actually have no male equivalent of “queef.” At least, I know of no word that describes an expulsion of gas from the penis. (The fact that I’ve never heard of such a thing happening doesn’t diminish the tragic nature of this void in our language.)

    • DYING. Thanks for bringing the male perspective into light. Is a penis-fart even physically possible? Is there a doctor in the house? Let’s find out and then we can invent a word, like PENART, or FLATULENIS. And hopefully that word will be rejected by the evil geniuses at WWF, or I’ma really be pissed . . . with my vagina.

    • b says:

      OK my mom is one of those women who does. not. fart. (She led us to believe that and I still haven’t heard or smelled evidence to the contrary) So back in the day when the remote controlled fart machines first came out on the market my uncle hid one under my mom’s chair. Since we had no idea they existed we all about died of shock when my mom farted at the dinner table on Thanksgiving of all days. What’s worse is she just pretended like nothing was happening. So she’s there fartin’ away and we all finally stopped eating and stared at her as if to say JUST ADMIT YOU LET OUT A FUCKING FART LIKE THE REST OF US DO!!!!!!!!!!!! SAY IT! It was hilarious when we all finally figured it out.

  3. Oh. My. Hell! you crack me up!

  4. I am constantly amazed at the words that it will not accept.
    I’m still pushing for the Urban Dictionary to come out with a scrabble-type game, because

  5. Jen says:

    Damn you, and your awesome beard! I’ve been waiting ALL WEEK to get my mention for an entry from an obviously non-crafty person, and now I have to wait some more?!? I don’t think I have enough wine for this shit. . . I’m going to go get my squirt gun and head to the mall. It’s been a long time since I’ve gotten kicked out of there anyways.

    Also – have to say that I agree with Mike. Just because it’s not widely diagnosed, the penis-fart should be a thing. Most men don’t report awkward illnesses anyways for fear of embarrassment. And FLATULENIS is now a word in my vocabulary. I laughed so hard when I read that that I almost choked. Literally. I’m getting over a back-to-school cold. And I may or may not have peed a little. I’m not telling. Now excuse me while I go change my pants.

  6. Bernie Bickers says:

    Jus’ ‘nutha case da’ man tryin to keep you down…

    However:

    1) Fart is gender neutral, both my wife and I have the burnt-out nostrils to prove it, so quit your cryin’
    2) For whatever reason, male-centric entendres and nick names for bits are all simple, legit, common usage words: balls, junk, sac/sack, franks, beans, tools, rods, Johnson, Willie, etc. Hell, even Dick is okay (yes, I know, no proper nouns in Scrabble/WWF, I’m just saying…). Meanwhile, everything to describe the female is in some kind of made-up foreign language.

    Hypothesis: I think the dichotomy begun back in simpler, more puritanical/wholesome times. Back then, 12 year old boys were exactly the same as they are today but they only could refer to their own equipment by experience when naming things as they had little to no idea what was going on under the sweaters and skirts of their feminine peers. So they used the names of things that they knew (e.g. balls) for the gear they were familiar with. The mystery equipment on the girls defied any easy or simple explanation, thus the more esoteric (and easy to flag/censor) names. Since this was decades or centuries before “The Vagina Monologues” came out, you guys got stuck with whatever odd names your parts were given.

    3) If all else fails, try “taint”, I think you should be okay…

  7. Jane says:

    I never heard the word queef before. But “q” words are really hard to come by so I’d take it. And – although I am better now- when I first started playing I didn’t win for 4 months. It took me that long to understand the words or non-words. But I reiterate- I am much better now.

  8. Gwennie says:

    I MUCH prefer Abble Dabble (they even have a Vamped version for you vampire lovers) to WWF. Seriously just try it out – but sadly queef and clit don’t play there either. :( Fuckers!!! Lol

    But taint, dick, vagi, cock, fart, dong and weiner do!!!! And the words totally light up green if they work – soooo much better than WWF!!!!

    Match me up over at AD, beyotch!!!!! GMoney97. It is oooooonnnnn!!!!

    PS – we too play a XXX version of Abble – it is THE BEST!!!!! Lol

  9. Gwennie says:

    I MUCH prefer Abble Dabble (they even have a Vamped version for you vampire lovers) to WWF. Seriously just try it out – but sadly queef and clit don’t play there either. :( Fuckers!!! Lol

    But taint, dick, vagi, cock, fart, dong and weiner do!!!! And the words totally light up green if they work – soooo much better than WWF!!!!

    Match me up over at AD, beyotch!!!!! GMoney97. It is oooooonnnnn!!!!

    PS – we too play a XXX version of Abble – it is THE BEST!!!!! Lol

  10. michelle w says:

    I have a few friends that I totally kick their butt in words with friends, so sometimes I’ll play the whole game with naughty and inappropriate words, not telling them. I usually end up losing the game but it is worth it.

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