The Bearded Iris

A Recalcitrant Wife and Mother Tells All

The Wheels on The Bus Go Sob Sob Sob {Sniffle}

I have been waiting for this moment for exactly 2,226 days…


…ever since that fateful day in July of 2006 when I peed on a stick and discovered the light at the end of the tunnel was not as close as I had previously thought.



And now, instead of dancing a jig and wailing “FREEEEEEDOM” a la William Wallace over Mimosas with my girlfriends, I am rocking in the fetal position and smelling the tags of Bucket Head’s comfort turtle, wondering where the past 5 and 1/2 years went and if I can talk The Gatekeeper into reversing his vasectomy.

So really, please look away. There is nothing to see here today.



But if you need a good hearty belly laugh, please go visit my beloved blogging sister Kim at Let Me Start by Saying. She has chronicled in brilliantly graphic detail one of my least favorite moments from BlogHer ’12. It is an absolute must read.

Yours truly, and missing my baby,


  1. You can come spoon in the bed with me and Sadie. She’s three and I’m already crying about her going to school in two years. WHO WILL KISS ME ALL DAY AND TELL ME HOW AMAZING I AM???

  2. Love you shmoopie. I wish I lived closer so I could hold you in the corner there and rub your shiny hair. Do something nice for yourself today and he’ll be home before you know it. 🙁 I’m sad for you – mine will be heading to Kindergarten in just a few weeks. So do me a favor and remember what works for you today so you can help me too. xo xo

  3. He DOES look pretty excited though! BTW… everything they need to know in life they learn on the school bus. Just sayin’!

  4. Aw, Leslie. 🙁 I agree with DM – go do something lovely for yourself today. All the kids made it to school-age? Celebrate! You deserve it!

    I’m a gonna be a mess when my littlest goes to kindergarten in a couple years. I’m tearing up just thinking about it. Sniff.

  5. I don’t believe those tears for a second. I could hear the whoops of joy from over here (or was that him?)

  6. When my boys have gone to kindergarten, I enjoy the grand tradition of the “boo-hoo breakfast” with my girlfriends. That helps, especially if there are Bloody Marys.

  7. I cried like a baby when my twins went to kindergarten and I was left looking at a six month old in a carrier. Sat on the kitchen floor and sobbed. Flash forward six years and the elementary school principal called, “Yes, Abbie, I seem to think that perhaps Peter is about kindergarten age and I cannot find his registration paperwork.” I tried to buck the system but they tracked him down. Off he went and sob. Husband even took the morning off to distract me with an early morning coffee and golf cart ride with our Lilly-dog to chase geese. Then I just came home and sobbed later. DO NOT REVERSE THE VASECTOMY! This is a fleeting moment. Soon you will be doing happy dance. Not right away. 🙁

  8. I confess. Sam starts Kindergarten tomorrow. Maybe it’s because there are no busses. Maybe it’s because he’s gone to school or daycare forever. Or maybe it says something about my parenting, but I cannot WAIT.

  9. You think this is hard? (Yes, it is VERY hard!) Just wait til they leave for college.

  10. As soon as I hit the “post comment” button, I regretted that I might sound dismissive of your feelers! I’m sorry!! The picture of the bus leaving made me cry for you…

  11. Look how excited he is! He is going to rock kindergarten!

  12. L is headed to kindergarten in a couple of weeks. Everyone I know expects me to high five the universe, but I know the truth: I’ll be ugly-crying.

  13. I’m sending solidarity hugs your way. When my youngest went to kindergarten (she is now entering middle school), I visited Funkland for about 2 months. I thought it was something I kept well hidden until a friend brought it up a while ago.

    He is going to rock kindergarten and love it and that will help you adjust. 🙂


  14. Awwwwwwwwww. You, my dear, are just all kinds of awwwwesome and so are your kids.

  15. Oh my goodness the tears! I thought I was happy for my first to start Kindergarten in a few weeks but as it gets closer I am terrified! I know she is ready but I’m not. I am here crying with you. I also forbade the vasectomy. I just can’t handle knowing we are done yet. Good luck!

  16. Hugs, hugs, and more hugs.

    I can’t wait for the kids to get on the bus. Even though I know the moment will be followed by tears and a wailing and cramping from my womb.

  17. This is so sweet, and helping me to appreciate toddler times. What are you going to do with those new free hours? Blog, I hope!

  18. Z starts pre-K3 on the 30th. I have yet to determine just how I’m going to make it through that day tequilaless. I doubt I will. I doubt I will. Also, them there’s some gorgeous ass kids.

  19. My son started Kindergarten this week too. I did okay until I got home and his little brother who is 2 was walking around the house calling his name. He then came up to me and asked, “Where Wesley?”. That is what got me going. He can still see him by volunteering in his class.

  20. Sounds like time for a book to take your mind off thangs?! That’s my plan in 2 weeks when Munchkin#2 heads for Kindergarten. Gotta take the pain away and can’t start drinking at 8:35am!

  21. I can only imagine the parade of thoughts in your head . . . congratulations and condolences, all at once.

  22. You done good.

    that is all.

  23. I so remember those days…hang in there! Each day gets a little better, and he is going to LOVE Kindergarten! What a cute smile!! xoxo

  24. Such a sad moment. My baby started kindergarten early at only 4.5. He starts 1st grade in about a month! I can’t handle it. 🙁 I hate that they have to grow.
    You’re such a sweet mama, Leslie. I’m sure Bucket Head will do great. You’ll learn to love the 7 hours of quiet each day. 🙂

  25. One Funny Motha

    August 9, 2012 at 5:48 pm

    I’m sad b/c camp is ending soon & I’m going to be in lock down with them for at least two weeks straight, when all three of us will be praying for school to start.

    Remember your husband got a vasectomy for a reason. A very, good reason.

    Beautiful picture btw.

  26. Awww, that is so hard! Hang in there! Your son looks thrilled and excited. It’s always so hard to let go…on first days, etc. I still get a pit in my stomach on my kids’ first days and they are entering 2nd, 4th, and 8th. Then I cry throughout the day.

    Hard stuff this letting go.

    Hang in there!

  27. So soon? My kids start school on Sept 4th.

  28. You need hugs. And chocolate. And tequila. Perhaps not in that order.

  29. I am hugging you through cyberspace. You’ll be okay, I swear.
    Also, thanks for sharing my version of our story. May it take your mind off of the sobsobsob. xo

  30. Oh so sad! How is it this week? And I hope Buckethead loves school!!!

Comments are closed.

© 2021 The Bearded Iris

Theme by Anders NorenUp ↑