Get Your Lady Bits Poised for Perimenopause {and win $250}

::Glances from side to side.::

Are they gone?

Oh good! Let’s talk shop, ladies. And by “shop” of course I mean vaginas.

I was thirteen years old when I got my first period. The thing I remember most about it was that my mom and her best friend Monica poured Champagne for the three of us (just a sip for me) and then toasted me on becoming a woman. We sat on the floor in my living room and yakked the night away talking about grown-up lady bits stuff, and I felt like I had just been initiated into a wonderfully secret sorority.

Fast forward about thirty years, and I’m starting to notice a whole new crop of strange bodily changes on the horizon. And no, I’m not just talking about the beard and mustache I sprouted after Bucket Head was born.

The thing is, as women approach menopause, there is no formal presentation or celebration that prepares us for this next life stage. We just hear scary labels like “the change” and imagine the worst. (I already don’t recognize myself in the mirror most mornings; I don’t know if I can handle any more “change,” thankyouverymuch.)

But Poise brand wants to help us approach this next life stage with confidence by encouraging The 2nd Talk, a whole new way to learn about menopause and other wellness issues for women our age. And to support us, they are introducing a first-of-its-kind line of products designed to work naturally with our bodies and provide comfort from symptoms.

As a BlogHer reviewer, I’ve gotten a sneak peak at some of the cool new products Poise is introducing this month. And yes, this is a sponsored post, but I think you know me well enough by now to know that I choose my sponsors very carefully, and I always calls it like I sees it.

Now, I know what you’re thinking: “But Leslie, I thought you were anti-Feminine Hygiene Products?”

Well, yes and no.

It’s true, I’ve written several posts about the misogynistic message communicated to the world by most of the feminine hygiene industry. I personally do not want to be told over and over that I’m not good enough, and all those sprays and douches and deodorized tampons make me feel like everyone thinks I stink.

But then again, sometimes I really do stink. And I’ve got young kids who are perfectly willing to say that aloud. (Awesome.)

So perhaps my soap and water routine isn’t cutting it, particularly when my pesky Aunt Flo is all up in my vagizness.

Not only that, but soap can be very drying, and we women of a certain age do not need any help drying out our goody bags, if you know what I mean.

That’s where Poise’s new product line piques my interest.

Poise’s new Feminine Wash is Gynecologist tested and pH Balanced. Ladies, take it from me, you do not want to putz with the pH of your poonany, like, ever.

It is also Glycerin & Paraben free which is incredibly important for our health. If you don’t know why chemicals like these are bad mojo, I’ll fill you in real quick (that’s what he said.) Parabens mimic estrogen in the body and are associated with cancer cells. Avoid them whenever you can, but particularly around the thin and delicate membranes of your vagene. And glycerin is major no-no because even though it may feel all fun and slippery at first, it is a man-made chemical that works by pulling moisture from the inside of your skin cells outward. Over time, it will cause more harm than good. Long story short: a dry vagina is a sad vagina.

I do not know what this stuff smells like yet, which could be a deal breaker for me. But if it smells like a fresh, mild soap without the drying properties of soap, I’m totally in, and I think my family will probably thank me for it.