“Mom, some of the kids at school know about your blog,” my 12 year old son sheepishly told me after school on Monday.
“WHAT? Are you serious? How? How do you know that? What did they say to you? Are you okay? Are you embarrassed? Do you want me to take it down?” I verbally vomited all over him.
“NO Mom! Don’t take your blog down! I don’t care if kids know about it. I’m really proud of you.”
(OMG – my son is proud of me! SWOON! But holy crap, his friends know about my blog.)
Nature Boy and Iris, 2011.
This is quite a predicament.
When I started this blog as a hobby nearly four years ago, I did it anonymously. I never showed my face or my children’s faces, I didn’t use anybody’s real names (still don’t), and I never worried about potential risks.
But blogging anonymously wasn’t a good fit for me. Not having my face connected to my words made it easier for me to write things that weren’t really my truth. I felt like I was living a lie and eventually I quit.
I missed it though and I decided to give it another shot in January of 2011. But this time I wanted to do it with more authenticity and more skin in the game: I would show our faces and I would blog not just as a place to express myself, but as a way to entertain and serve others with ideas, tips, recipes, and hopefully, laughter. Maybe if I was good enough at it, I could turn it into a career.
Yes, it was a risk. The Internet is a scary place.
But the gamble paid off. My readership and opportunities grew exponentially when I started showing our faces. Was it easier for readers to connect with my family when they could really visualize us? Did my writing improve with time and practice? Or was it because I was suddenly putting more thought into each post knowing that my face was out there? I don’t know.
Every mom blogger worries about their children’s safety. We worry about stranger danger and accidentally handing Internet predators the keys to our lives. So we use code names and limit information about schedules and geographic details.
But is that enough to protect our families from the dangers of blogging?
There has been a lot of online dialogue lately about mom bloggers oversharing about their kids lives. (Thanks Kristin of What She Said for sharing Lisa Belkin’s thought provoking post with your readers!)
I am torn.
What would the mom blog genre be without REAL stories about ourselves and the crazy shit our kids do?
Frankly, I never dreamed that I would ever have enough readers to make blogging about my family an issue.
And I certainly never imagined there would ever be middle school peers of my kids reading my stories. My kids are not allowed to read my blog and they know why. It is unconscionable for 12 year olds to know about some of the very adult themed issues I’ve shared here. I write for mature audiences. I use language and discuss content that is inappropriate for children.
I have always tried to keep my school/church life pretty separate from my personal/blogger life. But I have always feared that if my blog got into the wrong hands, it could cause problems for us. I’ve read horror stories about some of my blogging heroes like Cecily Kellogg who have gotten into hot water over their blogging.
However, I have always been willing to share my real life online because I have seen the benefit that it can give to others. Parenthood, marriage, life in general can be so difficult at times. Knowing there are others experiencing the same (or worse) challenges can really ease the burden. And after all, isn’t that what we are all called to do? Ease each others’ burdens?
But I have no control over who reads my work and what they do with the very personal information I have shared.
So now I have a choice to make.
Here are some of the options I’m considering:
A. Shut The Bearded Iris down and walk away from blogging.
B. Shut it down and start over anonymously somewhere else.
C. Go back through the blog and unpublish any posts that I am particularly uncomfortable with children reading.
D. Say screw it and stay on my path.
E. Embrace my new audience, increase the fart jokes, decrease the vagina talk. Or increase the vagina talk as a PSA to boys in puberty who need to learn about the traffic patterns down there sooner or later.
F. Other: _____(Please advise me in your comment below.)_____
This is not an easy choice for me. I have worked so hard to create years worth of original content. I have potential business opportunities in the works that are dependent upon my current status in the blogosphere. For the first time in my working life, I absolutely LOVE what I do. I don’t want to walk away. But I don’t want my kids’ friends to know anything about my genitals either. That’s not cool. Not cool at all.
Ack! Blogging. What a double edged sword. I totally picked the wrong week to give up sniffing glue.
What say you?
-Iris
It’s a tricky question, isn’t it. Blogging was (and still is) very therapeutic for me. When I was going through some unholy mess with my teenage (now 24) son- stuff that probably shouldn’t have been blogged- the feedback from my 12 followers kept me going. It was a source of stress between my son and me, but I was kind of on my own, and needed someone to talk to, even strangers. Having people say to me “oh, I went through this, and survived” and “I have nothing to say but here’s a hug” really really meant the world to me at that time. Tho my blog is nowhere near as widely read as yours…it still helped. A lot.
Stay. Please. OxoxoxO
D & E combo.
Do your thang!…but toss in a few PSA’s for the wandering boys (and girls)….and a tad less about your specific vag. as a nod to your kids would not lessen your appeal. Your blog is not very graphic imo.
If you want to blog not about the kids, maybe you can take up some kind of cumpulsive hobby like hording so you have other great stories…..no?
In the end, kids will find something to tease about if they want to and frankly, your kids seem well adjusted. I am sure they will triumph over anything thrown at them. I’m thanking God that my dog doesn’t go to junior high since I blog the opposite of anonymously.
I would miss you and I feel like I was late to this party, but I’d understand – your kids are very important…….(singing “I believe the children are our future. Teach them well and let them lead the way……”)
Ack, my soon to be roomie … this really sucks.
Self censorship – I live it every day.
Stories I cannot share about my oldest, stories that maybe I shouldn’t share about my youngest …
Retractions asked for by my husband who now doesn’t even wants his face on Facebook on my personal page because its ‘his choice’.
Being mindful of the homeschool communities that I write for. Knowing there are teens from our local community that have found my blog and read … so much for my little corner of the blogosphere.
Sometimes starting over appeals, then the idea exhausts me – plus how can I ‘unknow’ all the bloggers that I already know.
Lets just drink tomorrow night – you are drinking again right? This sure calls for it.
Iris, I’m quite sure you know where I stand on this.
After all, in my online life I am rude, vulgar, uncouth, profane, and at times downright filthy — and in my offline life, I’m worse. Hell, from where I sit, you’re practically Miss Manners tatting doilies. But here’s the thing: those parents who want to keep their kids sheltered from vagina talk and the f-bomb (YES! New name for my band!) — it is their responsibility to lock those kids in a closet and raise them Amish.
The only person’s opinion you should be worrying about is your son’s — and he seems to be fine with having an Edgy Mom. I grew up with an Edgy Mom (we once got kicked out of church ’cause her skirt was too short — no shit) and the only thing it did to me — aside from, y’know, making me rude, vulgar, profane AND SUCCESSFUL AS A TV WRITER BECAUSE OF IT — was make me proud that my mom didn’t give a shit about what anyone else thought.
She was stronger than “Them,” and more confident than Them, and funnier than Them, and cooler than Them, too. That’s right — I’m betting that not only is Nature Boy proud of you, but that he thinks you’re cool. (Do you need to sit down? Smelling salts? Bourbon?) Not just because you talk about your vajewelry box, but because you’re confident enough — and have a sense of humor enough — to still be you, the person, and not just you, the “proper” mom.
Now, should you check in with him every once in a while, just to make sure he’s still okay with everything? Sure. And you should do the same with Mini-Me and Bucket Head when they reach an age to start talking about it. But it should be a discussion — not a gladiatorial thumbs-up or thumbs-down thing. No one should make any decisions about your writing but you.
Everyone who reads here can tell you’ve invested years of work and discipline in producing this blog — and if you’re anything like me, taking it down would kill a little piece of you, a piece that belongs to You you, not Mom you. Which I understand you’d probably be perfectly willing to do for your kids as a mom, but as a person, I think would do your talent a great disservice.
It is abundantly clear how much you love your kids — it comes through in every post — but you should also think about how much you love what you do. Because as I learned from my Edgy Mom, being a mother doesn’t mean you become someone other than who you were — it just means you’re made up of more than you had been. And what you’re made up of now, girl — I think that’s someone your entire family can be proud of.
Cameltoe and all.
-Mere-
lead singer of Vagina Talk And The F-Bomb
Oh.
Mah.
GAW.
I just found this comment in my spam folder. WTF?! This ain’t no spam, this is POETRY.
And thanks for making the Me me cry reading about the difference between the You you and the Mom you. Both of which are completely different from the hoo-hoo.
For what it’s worth, I play a mean hambone if you need any band members. I think you know I would wear that t-shirt with pride.
Option D!
I JUST came across your blog a week ago and LOVE your posts. I am working on reading them all and would hate to miss out on your humor and perspective of things. There are FAR more things on the internet that these kids can get to (sadly) that are worse than what you write but do understand how this is personal especially since your own kids arent allowed to read it.
Oh no! This is a serious dilemma, I completely understand your feelings on this one but I love you and will miss your blog, your honesty and humor if you go! Your son made my heart happy, what an amazing kid. Of course you don’t want them to have to suffer in any way but I also agree – this is not a blog for under 18! Kids in his or any grade school class should not be reading. I guess if you go or change to a new blog, please leave a trail of breadcrumbs for us and if you stay, I feel confident in saying you have a pretty big support base to help you through it all.
D D D
dont give up!
Bitch…have you done lost your damn mind?? You can’t stop the blog. This blog is what brings us together….
Think about the notoriety you will get….that could lead to big dollars, and then you can fly to NH to see me and we can drink and I can show you all the Twat waffles that live near me, giving you an endless supply of chapters for your blog!!! COME ON!!!!
Don’t play with my emotions this way… it’s been a week where I feel like I’ve been ass raped by a cactus.
Oh…. but if you must do something… I like what Kat1e says…. A little disclaimer is good… like “If you offend easily, or your kid goes to school with mine, go play Hide and go fuck yourself”.
That’s all.
I love you, Iris…don’t you dare leave me.
Iris, Iris,Iris. I can’t imagine that middle school boys would find the blog that interesting. [What do they know anyway!] Except for a sprinkling of vagina lingo [no pun intended], the content just isn’t their thing. Don’t let fear hold you back from what you love!
Please let me know when you figure this out! I struggle with this daily. People are starting to tell my daughter, “I love your mom’s blog!” Which is great, except that as she and her friends get older, I will be standing in your shoes. No idea what to do.
Hey Iris, looks like I stopped by just in time to let you know I agree with everyone else, keep on the same track – and if you decided against it for some reason please keep me on your faithful readers contact list!
I am going to be selfish and say go with option “D”. I would so miss your words of wisdom and humor! I have a quote plaque in my living room with words from Dr. Seuss which seems to fit here, “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”.
Since those Middle schoolers are obviously not being supervised while roaming the web
soon they’ll move on to ..let’s say …juicier things for teenage boys. I know it seems sort of scary right now, but I’d just wait it out. As my Mom always says, “This too will pass”
First of all, I have no children, so take of this what you will.
Another commenter made a really good point – there is all kinds of stuff out there on the internet. Just because some of it is written by you doesn’t make their entire well-being your responsibility. My parents always, always kept track of what I saw and did on the internet, which is what I think these parents should be doing, too. It’d be a different story if it was embarrassing for your son. But he seems to love it! And if down the road it’s too much for your daughter, you can reconsider then,
In conclusion: Don’t stop writing; I know I live near you and I will come to your house to get you to write down funny things on a notepad if I have to. Also, since I just made a stalkery comment, no worries if you feel like you should call the cops on me.
Option D!
As long as your kids are cool with it, I think option D is the best! If you go somewhere else, you are just going to have to tell us all where to find you anyway. And then there goes your anonymity!
Iris, this post has driven me from my phone to my actual computer because I felt I had to comment. As Rebel Gold Five would say: Stay on target! (If you don’t get that reference, I apologize – I’m a sci-fi nerd.) Your blog is incredible because your posts are well-written, wry and witty. I just about pee my pants every time I visit because I find your candor and your perspective so funny and refreshing. Don’t stop. I beg you. It really is difficult to find a balance between privacy and oversharing and you’ve done it. I think it takes time and courage to get to the place where bloggers feel comfortable letting it all hang out. I’m still working on it. You’ve done it and I applaud you. Bravo!!
I’m thinking you’ll make it whatever you choose. And not to be redundant, but I agree with everyone in saying you have to do what’s right for you and your kids. Def include a disclaimer or some kind of firewall? Not sure how all that works. If not, trail of breadcrumbs is also nice. We like you, your drinks, your vag, your kids and your dancing. You never disappoint.
I strongly urge you to continue on your current path. You are in good company (e.g., Erma Bombeck), with essayists who talk about real life events and feelings. Your son is proud of you. Hold onto that. As long as you don’t violate his essential privacy (and he will be in your face before the words hit the screen!), you’ve got nothing to be afraid of from your family.
Children will get bored with the pedestrian topics they already experience daily. After the novelty wears off, they’ll be gone like your proverbial fart in the wind. (poof!). They get more excitement (and harsh language) from their friends’ Facebook posts. And don’t even get started on the violence and language in video games, movies, on TV, radio and in music. How can you compare with that?
you have an authentic voice which readers enjoy. What is it in you that makes abandoning this seem like a great idea? This is not the stuff of life that will make the difference long-term. Trust me.
Wow, that was WAY too serious. Time to light a fart. Who’s got the lighter?
I vote D. Everything else won’t work. If you have asked your kids for permission to put something about them on, they know what you have said about them. If 12 yr olds want to read your material it might make them a better husband/father/partner. You never know. You have to stay online Iris. I love your stuff.
I think its clear we all vote D. Most excellent blog!
Let me just start by saying this caused a major cramp in the pit of my stomach. Erin and I are new to the blogosphere, but are old timers in the middle schoolosphere. Since we had teenagers way before we blogged, we had quite the discussions about what we would share. We have some humdinger stories that we wish we could share. But our blog is tamer as a result and it is written so that our kids can read it. We carved a different niche.
But I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE your blog. You have the content that makes me laugh out loud. So I’m viscerally feeling your conundrum. But, and here it is chickie, I think you have made your decision by writing this post. You have shot a warning flare that this could be pulled down. Nothing ever dies on the internet and if teenage boys want some of the content off of this blog, they have already taken screen shots.
And if you took it down or put an R rating across the top, you’ve just made it that much more titillating. You are a quality, comedic writer, this is your product, and it does not have to appeal to or be appropriate for all ages.
The most I would concede is a funny tagline indicating this is an adult read. Maybe something like, “If you have a vagina more than 25 years away from menopause or have never seen a vagina, this blog isn’t for you.” Hmmm, I just re-read that and perhaps that isn’t a keeper.
Another commenter mentioned Eddie Murphy and how in his comedy shows he talks about drugs and sex. You know why that is acceptable? Money and success. If you have opportunities on the horizon hinging on this real, high-quality brand you have crafted for yourself, please don’t throw it away. Fame softens many transgressions, let alone the entertainment that you provide.
So I hope you can reach a decision that is right for everyone that matters in your life. And I do truly empathize. My 13 y/o daughter told me the other day that the boy who has had a crush on her (stalked her) for years reads my blog. My mind started spinning about what I had posted about her. I can only imagine the state of your insides and I knew exactly what you meant when you said you verbally vomited on him.
Cyber hug to you which is ever so much better than 12 y/o cyberstalking.
P.S. – You have one fine boy there. Ellen
Superman II – Clark Kent tells Lois Lane his secret identity. Later, his super life is super sucky.
You broke the Superhero code Iris, and now, like Clark, you face some tough choices (though in his case not too tough since Margot Kidder’s voice could sterilize a walrus at 30 meters, and she later went all batshit crazy, but I digress…). Will you be a meek horn rimmed glasses wearing nebbish, or will you man up like Clark finally did, hike back up to the North Pole in a busted Member’s Only jacket, rebuild the fortress of solitude, and don your cape and booties once again so the world can be safe from mediblogcrity.
I’m not sure where I’m going with this other than to say you find a way to make it work. Because if you quit, the next thing you’ll hear will be me and those three mylar wrapped ex-cons from Krypton coming down to to kick your ass into the blogosphere.
Ya’ dig?
They’re 12 year old boys reading a mommy blog.
I’d be more concerned about that.
87 comments already? Geezus Iris. That’s amazing.
But on to your problem, I think you should do what you feel in your heart. And then also I think you should keep blogging. Because you are a writer after all and you’ll want to write no matter what you are doing and blogging is the best way to release that tension. I mean creativity. And you do it so well!
Please stay the course. I agree your blog isn’t middle school fodder but it is really the PARENTS of these children who should be making changes…not you. But I am being selfish. I LOVE your blog. I LOVE you and look forward to your blogs with great joy. Truly you must do what you feel is right but if your son is proud of you…and you are OK with it…don’t go changing.
Gee Iris, sounds like you are between a rock & a hard place. I don’t feel qualified to make the decision for you. I’d like you to pick option “D”, but want you to do what’s right for you & your family. I will respect any & all decisions you come up with, but sure hope you don’t give up blogging. God Bless!
Maybe “know about” and “read every vagina post” are not one in the same. I know my kids always pretend to know stuff they really don’t, especially when they overhear something they think they shouldn’t. And if they have read it cover to cover? Wow. A+ in Accellerated Reader.
My stomach dropped at the possibility of you doing anything other than this blog. I definitely don’t envy you the choice you have to make, but I thought I’d put my 2 cents in…
There are always going to be people who have issue with your blog. Why? Because you’re honest. Because they don’t like the way you think. Because it’s not exactly what they think.
If kids are reading your blog, blame their parents.
If their parents are reading their blog, it’s because you’re awesome.
If those parents don’t see the awesome, they are obviously blind.
If your church group reads this blog, I want to join it.
If your church group reads this blog, but doesn’t like it and wants to oust you or anything like that, find another one.
If you yourself want to stop this blog… Stop. Otherwise, I say fuck the naysayers. But not literally because you don’t want crabs.
Have any soothsayer friends who can accurately predict future peer-trouble for your children because of this? The things other children do and say to our children at school is out of our control. But you hate to be the one supplying the fuel (even if they are WAY TOO YOUNG to be buying it).
Those are the things I keep telling myself as I spill my guts to the universe…..
*your*
As a middle school teacher I can tell you that every middle school boy ever born gets teased about his mother. Fat, thin, MILF, working, not-working, drunk, religious…the list goes on and on. In your case, the “ammo” is that you have a potty mouth and a wicked sense of humor. In middle school land, that’s pretty fucking cool. Hard to tease about something you wish you can be. And trust me, one minute into reading they will get bored and google “vagina” or “sex” and they will completely forget about you two seconds later. As long as you keep tease worthy stuff about your kids private (like if they wet the bed or still sleep with a stuffed bunny) then all is well. Stay the course. Middle school sucks no matter what. Don’t let your son see that bullies have power over his mother’s actions. Fuck em. Write on sista.
Are you totally kidding me?? Nature Boy just needs an elevator speech to deflect the assholes – or another school. No quitting. You are brilliant in your humor, honesty, and realistic outlook on life, love, and reality.
How could we possibly go on without the weekly joy of your blog – even when it is a bit “over the top?”
We adore it – and you. As someone close to us once said – “If you F- with a Bull, you get a horn up your Ass!” Go For It!
Dude, seriously, “D”. Keep sniffing glue. You really don’t say anything awful. Perhaps the pics of the shitty drivers in your school carpool lane might not want their license plates showing, but other than that, whatevuh.
Don’t stop. Please, I enjoy.
Since I’m dealing with cuh-razy stuff in mine, I gotta keep it more on the DL, but I don’t think you do.
Oh Gah. That sucks! I had a similar issue with my old blog. I started my blog back in 2008 as a foster care/adoption/social work blog. I was careful not to reveal any identifying details about myself and I never posted pictures of myself or my husband. It didn’t matter, someone from my old life of social work found the blog and created a huge hoopla that involved lawyers and privacy rights and blah blah blah. I was served with a cease and desist order and even though I technically broke no laws and never compromised confidentiality in any way, I had to shut it down. I was so sad and I took a year off from blogging to decide what to do.
I came back in January 2012 with a brand new blog, brand new name, brand new everything. I’m not anonymous in this blog, but I’m more careful about glossing over details. I do not ever post about foster care/social work and I never will on the new blog. I’m loving my new blog home. It’s more of who I am, it reflects my real life now and I am excited to blog again. I’m careful to only share things that won’t humiliate my kids and I do not use their real names (I use nicknames).
I hope you choose to stay the course. This problem is not with you. It’s with the parents that are not monitoring their children’s internet browsing!
Option D, please. To thine own self be true…why change what or how you post? Besides, your blog is tame compared to some of the stuff I’m sure those teenagers are finding on the internet.
“D” please!
A real tough one, Iris. My thoughts:
1. I read two blogs regularly. Yours and Maria’s. (“just eat your cupcake”). Yours is very forthcoming. Maria uses pseudonyms and has no photos. She has a blog stalker. I think you are both amazing bloggers and get so, so much from reading your blogs.
2. for the record, I’m a single mom with an almost 12 year old in middle school. I am also sort of a privacy freak because I don’t want my dtr’s bio dad to be part of our lives for some good reasons. I have a few blogs – not about parenting, about more boring teacher-y stuff – but they are private, no pics, etc.
3. I find it almost hard to say but I do think whatever you do, it should come down on the side of familiy first. I am guessing you discuss all this with your husband. And obviously you’ve discussed with Nature Boy. As everyone has said, you can’t predict the future. Waht you can do, I think, is look at how children of celebrities respond to their childhoods after they are grown. I know. You’re not Paul Newman or anything (close! To us moms, anyway!). but you know what i mean. How do adult children of famous people feel? Or children of people who have written memoirs?
4. I taught a Memoirs course to older adults for about six years. We discussed this issue – what to share, what not to share – a lot. I always said if one chooses full disclosure, one can always have the memoirs shared after death, etc. No right or wrong, etc. Or write it but don’t share it.
5. When I think about all this, I ponder issues of intention and trust. I am a writer, myself. (Not a famous one!
In recent years, I’ve had to acknowledge that part of my creative drive is simply the drive to be creative. It’s a deep and rael part of me. Another part is a quest for fame. And what is that about, I asked myself? I realized it was about being loved, safely, from a distance, because I have just a few issues about safe emotional intimacy, from my childhood. I had to look at that and that was painful. (Hard to believe I write, reading what I’m writing here! But I digress.)
For many of us with complicated pasts and childhoods, there is this whole issue of wanting and needing and being able to the do the very important job of telling the truth AND still be loved… even being loved FOR telling the truth. You’re a truth teller. And your readers love you for it. I bet your husband and kids do, too.
That makes it all the more complicated.
The trust thing: if, and I’m not saying you want to or will, if switch formats and go anon, will you still have the success you’ve been cusping on here? And that success is a good thing, I want to say. It brings you creative fulfillment. Sounds like it’s bringing in some bucks. Always good with three kids! And it’s making your readers happy. All good. So if you do what you feel is “right,” can you trust that things will still go the way you want them to go?
No telling, hunh?
But even more importantly, can you trust yourself to deal with things, whatever you do?
You haven’t mentioned prayer and reflection. I know you take your spiritual life very seriously. YOu write these wonderful and hilarious posts aobu the Nativity scenes but you also write with wrestling with the idea of being loved for just who you are.
Waht about prayer and reflection as part of your process?
I feel like I”ve lost track of my numbered bullet point system.
The last thing I want to mention is something like.. how do I put this.. for truth tellers, it’s also hard for us (I included myself in the truth teller category) to manage and maintain human relationship webs. Soemtimes telling the truth causes a tear in the web.
However, lies strangle people. (I’ve lost control of my metaphors!
WE know that denial ain’t good either.
Where’s the balance? How do we find it?
My haert goes out to to you.
And I want to say: I trust you will find the way that feels right to you, in both heart and mind.
Take your time. No rush.
You have a great team – a wonderful and hairy husband (I can laugh about that because my boyfiend has quite the shoulder rug), fantastic kids, and readers who really love you for who you are.
And you have a spiritual team, too.
Take your time. YOu’ll find your way.
ZC (of sewing machine fame
)
I just want to add a note to readers who don’t have older kids (tween and up) or don’t know people who do.
Good parenting of tweens does not make it possible to police everything they do on the Internet. Kids go to the library. Kids have friends who have smart phones. It just isn’t possible.
I’m happy my girl seems to have taken on my values, is grossed out by sex stuff she sees in posters on telephone poles (we live in SF so we see stuff like that sometimes),
and uses the Internet to do her homework, send emails to friends and relatives, etc.
Yes, I could check all her computer history. But realistically, does anyone DO that?
So, please, don’t make out the parents of the kids who have read Iris’ blog to be bad parents! You never know what parents are dealing with, anyway. Maybe they’re coming hoem from a crappy job exhausted adn it’s great that they shared a mael with their kid and went over homework. My sis had claer cell ovarian cancer last year. She was still a good mom to her son. Was she exhausted and did she feel crappy? Yes!
Anyway, lay off the judgement, please! This culture is pretty damn insane on many things. Once kids hit tweendom, it’s treacherous. I do the best I can. It’s impossible to shelter kids from everything unless you move to some freaky commune somewhere and then you eff them up that way.
I also wonder how many of those judgemental types they, themselves, watch porn or or partnered by husbands who do. I guess that is just a personal quirk. (Because I am one of the few people on the planet who doesn’t like or use porn and it troubles me on several levels.) So many people want to protect kids from a life they themselves lead.
okay, i’m done with my own judgemental sermonizing!
ZC
Your son is proud of your blog, so definitely D! It’s so sweet of him! Plus, parents should be the ones limiting/restricting internet access to age-appropriate things. That’s not your job. You already to that with your own kids, bravo! Plus, there are probably worse/harmful things on the internet. Don’t stop doing what you love. Unless your boy starts expressing concern — then it’s really about protecting him over your own interests, which I’m sure you and every other mommy blogger would proudly do! Good luck with the decision!
D. You are already out there. Your kids’ teachers may have been reading the blog for two years and you didn’t even know. (That’s supposed to make you feel better
) I don’t think you need to apologize for, or hide, your writing. It’s great! You are not advocating any of the kinds of evil that exist.
I dearly love being an absent part of your family. I laugh, and have laughed, so hard over the many posts you have here. Sharing your experiences has made my life SO much happier. Do what you gotta do for you and yours. And know, that if you leave (again) you will be desparately missed! (God love Bucket-Head. And Mini Me. And Nature Boy. And the Gatekeeper. And You.)
Well, if you start over anonymously, can you let me know where to find you?
. Let me just say that you have an awesome 12 yr old. What a sweetheart to be proud of you! Tell those little punks to stop ruining it for all of us! Love you, Sista.
Well, Option D is about the only one *I* can live with! I love love love your writing but most importantly, YOU are happy professionally. How many moms can really say that?!
I think as parents it is our responsability to ensure that our children know what is and is not appropriate content AND to do our best to monitor their web usage. That’s all I’m gonna say about that.
I wonder if a “should they run for president could it be used against them” filter could help separate what you’d like to post, not post?
genius!
Iris,
In July of 2011 my husband was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma, since then our lives have been turned upside down. Some days I don’t know whether I am coming or going. He underwent a stem cell transplant in February 2012 at Dana Farber Cancer Institute and the kids and I spent many, many hours at his bedside.
It was during this time of relentless hours spent trolling the internet that I saw a post my friend shared shared on Facebook. “DIY Feminine Hygiene Tips” was the heading, of course this sparked my curiosity, who wouldn’t have to see what this article consisted of?
I have to tell you that I laughed so loud that the nurses came in to see what was so funny, and I believe your blog now holds a spot on their board in the stem cell transplant unit. I do believe you have some faithful followers there as well.
The whole point to this story is to share with you the epiphany that you brought to me on that day. My 13 year old daughter started crying and said Mom, I haven’t seen you laugh in a long time. You, it was you Iris, that brought me back from the underworld. From that day on I vowed to smile every day and laugh at least once (which you so often help me do).
So I will SELFISHLY say D is my final answer. I can appreciate your predicament and completely understand if you should decide against it, I will follow you no matter where your jokes take me. You are my prozac!
Dear Kristen,
First of all, sending my thoughts and prayers to you, your husband, and your kids. I can’t even imagine the toll this must be taking on you all.
I am so deeply humbled by your comment…oh my God, your comment. It blows my mind to imagine that I may have brought someone a moment of happiness and laughter while they are in the midst of such pain and suffering.
Knock-knock. Who’s there? PURPOSE.
Thank you Kristen. You have given me such a gift with your words today.
with love, blessings, and gratitude,
Iris
There would be not nearly enough fart and vagina jokes on the internet without you. Please stay.
I agree with other commenters who say you are not responsible for censoring the internet. Your voice is a special one and it needs to be heard.
Okay – I’m late to this comment party and everyone else has already said what I was going to say.
So let me tell you this:
My kids are almost 13 and 15. I use our family members’ names and pictures on my blog. I do not tell any current stories about THEM that might embarrass them because they’re not my stories to tell. Plus I do enough humiliating stuff on my own to have plenty of blog fodder. So. Might my kids be embarrassed BY me? Possibly. Except for this:
I raised them to not give a crap.
Win. Win.
Oh Iris, don’t you dare change a thing, and don’t you dare leave this corner of the blogosphere. Your blogging success preceeds you! You are an icon. I’m sorry, but it’s up to parents to patrol where their children are going on the internet, and if your children’s peers are finding their way to your blog, that’s not your problem. Stick with this my sweet lady, you are definitely meant for success!
D! There is no other answer but D! Plus, I’ve still not had the time to go back and read all of your hilarious archives as I’ve only been reading for the past year or so. Don’t go, we all need the comedic relief, Iris style. xoxo