Pootorial

Greetings! For today’s Just the Tip Tuesday post, I’d like to share with you a simple pleasure that has brought my family much joy over the years. It is the art of making a fake turd.

This is a simple, green, and no-cost craft that is fabulous for children of all ages. It is important to note that I don’t typically enjoy crafting with children, particularly my own. However, this is so incredibly easy and the results are so entertaining that I just can’t resist.

For this craft, you will need only three things:

1. A bowl of water.

2. A cardboard toilet paper or paper towel tube. The bigger the tube, the bigger the turd. I haven’t tried it yet, but I’m thinking a wrapping paper tube would be super fun.

3. Two hands. If you are differently abled, one hand would probably suffice. I don’t think this craft would work though if you have hooks instead of hands.

The pretty girl is optional.

My lovely assistant will now demonstrate the steps needed to transform the cardboard into a turd:

1. Using your hand(s), rip the cardboard tube open lengthwise.

2. Submerge the cardboard into the bowl of water and move it around so it gets nice and soggy.

3. Now remove the cardboard from the water and start to form the fake turd with your hand(s). Squeeze the wet cardboard so that it will bunch up into a long, compact, moist, brown, wrinkly cylinder.

4. Be patient. It can take a minute or two of good hard squeezing to form the perfect turd. Here’s one that’s almost ready…


5. A few more squeezes and…

Voilà! Pretty awesome, no?

Wait, here’s a close up so you can really appreciate the details:

The best part? My eight year old daughter is able to complete this craft completely on her own. That’s what those in the Montessori community call “mastery.” Just look at the pride emanating from her masterful little face as she lovingly cradles her new fake turd:

Once you have a fake turd or two in your arsenal, it’s time to play. The choices are endless. Here’s one possible vignette:

A little obvious for my taste, but the kids sure like that one. Personally, I like the element of surprise. For me, turd in the shoe equals F-U-N.

Some other ideas for using your fake turds include dramatic play such as puppet shows and story telling reenactments of momentous bathroom events.

You can also craft with your fake turds. I’m thinking googly eyes and little outfits and hats would be a hoot!

Or how about mixing in torn colored construction paper during the turd making process to simulate dietary changes. What a safe and and fun way to explore what happens when we eat corn or beets or cupcakes with blue frosting!

And of course, there’s always good old classic family games like Turd Toss, Find the Turd, and Turd Tag. Let your imagination be your guide.

I hope this earth-friendly craft brings you and yours as much joy and satisfaction as it brings my family!

fondly

-Iris

© Copyright 2011, The Bearded Iris.

About The Bearded Iris

Leslie Marinelli is a writer, humorist, blogger, life hacker, and invisible vessel for grandchildren and PTA donations.
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60 Responses to Pootorial

  1. Susan says:

    Oh, and do you remember the scene in Caddyshack where Bill Murray bites the tootsie roll at the bottom of the emptied pool to everyone’s horror? Endless possibilities with this idea and “Happy Times” as our little guy likes to say.

  2. sunwukong says:

    For best effect with Tootsie Roles cut the Tootsie into uneven size chunks. Roll each chunk into a round shape then press them togeather and roll into long cylinder. When your buddy is not looking drop one in his beer / milk.

  3. Jessica Blankley says:

    It’d be great if you’d turn off that click blocker. Not being able to open your articles in multiple tabs is quite annoying. -_-

    • Hi Jessica – thanks for the feedback. Click blocker? Not sure I understand. I do have a copyright protection plugin on my blog to keep people from copying content (it was a big problem for a while there), but I don’t think that impacts the ability to open multiple tabs. I usually set my links to open in multiple tabs so it’s easier for readers to get back to the page they started from, as that’s how I like to read blogs. Let me know if I’m misunderstanding you. I definitely don’t want to annoy readers! Thanks.

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