The Bearded Iris

A Recalcitrant Wife and Mother Tells All


The other day, I was reclined on the couch, “resting my eyes,” while the kids were having a snack in the kitchen.

I heard one of them take a few steps into the hallway, apparently stopping to gaze at one of their ancestors lovingly displayed on the wall:

Iris' Family Tree

I recognized the sound of those footsteps, it was Mini-Me, my 8 year old daughter. Her eyes fixated on a portrait of my tow-headed little brother and me as young children:

After a long moment of silence, she quietly spoke to her brothers. “Can you believe that was Mommy when she was little?”

I could tell by the sound of her voice that she was captivated and mystified, as children often are when they see photos of their parents as children. My eyes were still closed, but I could tell by the silence that she was transfixed.

Uncle T. and Iris, 1974.

“Yeah?” her big brother replied, as in, so?

Mini-Me: “I can’t believe Grandma would do that to her.”


And End Scene.


© Copyright 2011, The Bearded Iris. All rights reserved.


  1. Rebecca LaLonde

    March 7, 2011 at 9:00 am

    Too long to post on FB. My 5 year old calls me into the bathroom. ‘Hey mom, check out my penis butt’. I look to see him holding his penis up so I can see his nuts. (I should never have entered the bathroom, really my own fault.)
    So, anyway, I fully intended to correct him but as soon as I said ‘No, that’s…’ He came back with “Look it farts’. Turns his face away from me and makes a fake fart noise. ‘See, I told you. My penis has a butt.’ All I could do was nod and walk away. I told his dad they really needed to talk.

    • The Bearded Iris

      March 12, 2011 at 10:11 am

      OMG Rebecca… that’s hilarious. Boys and their farting “penis butts.” Gotta love it.

  2. my mom’s favorite haircut on me was the dorothy hamill bob. she would swoon and still does to this day, “that was my favorite haircut!” and “you looked so cute!” however, at the time, i was a really well-rounded in the lower half 8-year old. looking back i always feel i looked like a mushroom whose cap wasn’t big enough to cover the stump that held me up. over the years my hair has turned quite curly and so i am thankful for the curls and know for a fact that if i ever went back to that short of hair i would probably look like a q-tip 🙂

  3. What do you mean by calling me “towheaded”…I know I am not the sharpest knife in the drawer…especially since the T.B.I. that ended my sledding career…but Tow-headed, really???? Bite Me Buddah

  4. Hi-larious!
    Pretty wall btw.
    Also, props for honest pictures on yesterdays post.

  5. I love that wall. Will you come decorate my house? And since I’m your friend I’ll say that haircut looked good on you 🙂

    • The Bearded Iris

      March 8, 2011 at 8:04 am

      Oh honey – trust me, I am no decorator. That wall is definitely the nicest thing in my house… and probably only because it is too high up to be covered with dog drool and kid boogers.

      And thanks for the kind words about my Rosemary’s Baby hairstyle. People used to ask my mom “How old are your boys?” Ouch! Of course, my tree climbing, and spitting, and rough-housing may have had something to do with it.

  6. Hilarious!!

  7. My mother was showing my kids some pictures and brought out a whole load of school pictures (the worst anyway). My youngest daughter actually asked my mother why she made me so ugly. And to this day my oldest (13 y/o) thanks me for always letting her have pretty hair.
    Erin and I might have an adolescence face-off on our blog. I produced jaw drops in the Sisterhood when I trotted out my albums one night. Erin had some impressive head-gear…munch on that teaser. I know.

Comments are closed.

© 2021 The Bearded Iris

Theme by Anders NorenUp ↑