I listened to my mother.

Last April I had the privilege of participating in a national show called “Listen To Your Mother.” Being chosen for the inaugural Atlanta cast and getting to perform one of my original pieces in front of a live audience on stage in a beautiful theater was a dream come true and I’ve been anxiously awaiting the day when I could share it with you…and see it myself.

(Emphasis on the word anxiously. Oy.)

Well the videos were released last week…aaaand now I remember why I specifically chose to NOT have my wedding video taped.

But I learned A LOT about myself and THE THEATAH throughout this process. For instance, when you’re on stage, you shouldn’t clap with your hands in front of your face. (One of these things is not like the other.)

via Lyssa Sahadevan

via Lyssa Sahadevan

Also, when your hands are not in front of your face, maybe oh—I don’t know—pretend like your face is made of human flesh instead of Silly Putty.

Leslie LTYM rubber face collage

“ACTING!” ~Jon Lovitz, SNL

I swear, the only thing missing from this performance is me saying, “Wokka wokka!”

Twenty-six years later, I finally understand why Mr. Altman cast me in the school play my senior year as the dead bank robber wearing a ski mask.

Live and learn, people. Live. And. Learn.

But all’s well that ends well, I say. I did not vomit on stage, fall down in my heels, or have a nip slip. Therefore, in the words of my new Taekwondo instructor, “TWO CLAPS—SUCCESS!”

(And that’s a story for another day, but yes, I just started taking Taekwondo and am now an official white belt. Shit just got real, bitches.)

If you weren’t able to come to the show and would like to see my performance, here you go.

(If you can’t see the video embedded here, this link will take you to it on YouTube.)

Many thanks to Jana Anthoine and Miranda Wicker for the incredible amount of work and dedication it took to coordinate, direct, and produce this event, and to Ann Imig for creating such a wonderful platform for women to share their stories of motherhood nationwide. (To see the entire 2014 playlist from all 32 Listen To Your Mother Show cities, click here.)

Most of all, thank you to my own children for being so damn funny and giving me so much material to write about. And to my husband for tolerating me even though I clearly “jumped the shark” about 26 years ago.

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I’m going to listen to my mother, for once.

Ever since that fateful day in 1977 when I crashed my bike and broke my arm in two places after my brother and I followed our mother’s explicit instructions to “GET OUT. TAKE YOUR BIKES. AND DON’T COME BACK UNTIL THE STREET LIGHTS COME ON,” I stopped listening to my mother.

Leslie (left) and friend circa 1977, from my baby book. Notice the staple.

Leslie (left) and friend circa 1977, from my baby book. Notice the staple.

Unfortunately for me, that was the last time she’s ever been wrong.

For instance…

She told me not to pierce my ears. Result? Double pierced on both sides at age 13 by some clueless teenaged Piercing Pagoda trainee at the Monroeville Mall. Long term result? Thirty years later my ear holes are about as lopsided as my knockers. Continue reading

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Don’t look back? Don’t tell me what to do.

It’s a widely known fact (i.e. “pin-worthy” quote) that one of the main reasons people give up on their dreams is because they focus on how far they still have to go instead of how far they’ve already come.

Or for you visual learners…

Look behind you, you're more awesome than you realize! from "Don't look back? Don't tell me what to do," by The Bearded Iris

You do it too, right? Continue reading

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Press Release: The Bearded Iris acquires In the Powder Room

Psst. You guys. Big news!

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Press Contact:  Leslie@InThePowderRoom.com

Author, Blogger, and Editor Leslie Marinelli Acquires Online Women’s Magazine and Publishing Company, InThePowderRoom.com.

ATLANTA, April 8, 2014 – Popular online women’s magazine InThePowderRoom.com (“ITPR”) was acquired this week by Hold My Purse Productions LLC, a company owned by ITPR’s former Editor-in-Chief, Leslie Marinelli, an author, speaker, editor, and award-winning blogger. Continue reading

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Quit staring at my shuttlecock, ya perv.

Well, it’s Spring Break in these parts, and we’re staycationing this year…again. Spring Break travel requires much more advanced planning than I am ever able to successfully do, so here we are.

Home sweet…holy shit, is there a wasps’ nest in our new screened porch? Doesn’t that kind of defeat the purpose of having a screened porch? Awesome.  

But we’ve already made it halfway through the week without major incident, which is pretty good for us. Continue reading

Posted in kids, parenting, random stuff | Tagged , , , , , , | 27 Comments

The road not taken…by my kid…on the can

I just found a dried booger on my shower curtain.

It’s about two feet off the ground, on the outside of the curtain, right next to the toilet in my kids’ bathroom.

After three kids, very little surprises me, and yet—there is something intriguing about the decision making process that went into this random little DNA deposit.

Picture this, if you will… Continue reading

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